The passing of Lopon Peter Lieberson

Lopon Peter Lieberson

This past week was marked by the death after a 5-year battle with cancer of modern classical composer Peter Lieberson. He was also was one of my dharma teachers, and a great example as a practitioner and as an artist. You would never know by the un-pretentious way he carried himself how much of a 'big deal' he was in the modern classical world.  Officially, as one of  Khandro Rinpoche's senior students, he was "Lopon Peter" - but you would would never know that either by the un-pretentious way he carried himself.  I only got to 'talk shop' about music and the creative process with him a little bit, which I of course regret now.  The best thing I suppose I could do now is let this be a reminder of 'The Second Reminder' that he taught about at the behest of Khandro Rinpoche.  Anything else I say wouldn't really be so eloquent, so I'll let the New York Times obituary and the write-up from Waylon Lewis's "Elephant Journal" do the rest of the talking.


Peter Lieberson, Composer Inspired by Buddhism, Dies at 64
That foreign yet visceral language we call music. [Peter Lieberson]

October Already????, Some wisdom on being an 'elder' from Khandro Rinpoche

Howdy kids.

A quick update. Last month, I was able to make it for 3 1/2 days of the Khandro Rinpoche Annual Retreat, and one additional practice day at Lotus Garden. The teachings were mostly about phowa (ejection of consciousness at the moment of death) and What to Do When You Are Dead - an explanation of the Bardo. While there are said to be six Bardos, or in-between states - the Bardo of Meditation, the Bardo of Dreams, the Bardo of the moment of Death, the Bardo of Dharmata, the Bardo of Becoming, and the Bardo of this Life- when people say "the Bardo", it usually refers to that state after the moment of death until the next rebirth (if one buys into that sort of thing).

I can't repeat exactly what she said in those teachings, since they are restricted. This must be understood correctly. "Restricted" doesn't mean that if you hear these teachings, or if I repeated them here, one's face would melt like that one Nazi at the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark". :) It means that, if one hasn't had the preceding teachings, which give the background for understanding what is occurring, then one would read them and go, "WTF"??? Without the context, they wouldn't make any sense.

Those of you who would like to know about the Bardo, I can send you to some excellent resources on-line here, here, here and here.

However, I thought it should be ok if I share a little bit she said about what it is to be a dharma elder. For those of us who have been at this dharma thing for over a decade (as I have now, since the first retreat I did with Khandro Rinpoche - which to me is really the beginning of when I got serious about Dharma (and also, since it was the first time I took refuge vows, it technically marks my becoming a follower of Buddha's way too)- it is important to think about the importance of discipline for elders. and her explanation of how compassion comes out of emptiness:

"...as elders who hold titles, dharma is given more in action than spoken works. The elders in this sangha must always make sure their actions are diverging from ordinary way... We need to be a step ahead in better conduct, maturity, generosity, kindness, simplicity, revulsion, unifying meditation and post-meditation.  The conduct of discipline and self-awareness enhances one's own understanding and unifies the view and meditation. One becomes a wish-fulfilling jewel for others. Your conduct itself becomes a strengthened voice for dharma."

"Seeing the nature as is should allow you to become more free in embracing everything. Having a glimpse of shunyata (emptiness/fullness) mind and then forcing non-reaction to appearances doesn’t sound correct. (having an understanding of) “All appearances are mind “ should give more freedom to all appearances. This is a freedom to be involved, a flexibility with which you do not grasp to that moments’ expression. Rather than force abiding in shunyata, (one should) always bring about a supple way of freeing everything from your grasping, since you realize there is nothing to discriminate. Non-conceptual compassion is about this. 'You know things are a projection of your mind, but you take a bug outside (that is inside trapped flying against a screen)" is a beautiful expression of samboghakaya non-dual compassion. “

"(One should) Play along with saving lives, cooking food, all the mundane things like being important at a meeting, being a servant, mother, father, etc. And, you do (all these tasks) well, because you have no agendas, no discrimination. If the ending works, fine. If it is most tragic, fine. Kind of blah, fine. You simply play along with it."

"You must learn to flow. The river doesn’t stop at every place it sees a beautiful meadow and says, “I want to stop here”. You most flow, there is no need of grasping. Being willing to flow by itself is compassion. To be non-conceptual, things must not be made more than it is. That would only be solidifying it. "

"Make aspirations each day. Live well. Prepare for death. If that happens, go forward with confidence."

So, that is what I have been thinking about since the Annual Retreat. It's an odd thought, that I am an elder now. Following both from what Rinpoche said above and from the view of my other lineage, the Drikung Kagyu, discipline/ethics is a VERY important part of the whole thing. Not only for one's own good (since w/o discipline, one won't get far - one will get distracted easily, for starters), but also for everyone else. 

Khandro Rinpoche has said in the past something along the lines of (paraphrasing broadly here) "you are likely the only Buddhist practitioner that most people you meet will ever meet. So, think - does your way of manifesting speak well of the Dharma? If YOU met yourself, would you think, "Here is someone who seems genuine, who acts according to what he/she talks about, maybe there is something to this path" and be inspired to start sitting, cutting your actions that are really only harming yourself, etc.? Or would you think, "This person is a bit of a mess. I don't think this buddhism stuff must work too well" and then turn away from the potential for using this human life to benefit others, rather than focusing solely or one's own desires (or on "self-aggrandizing", as the Drikung Khenchen Rinpoche likes to say)".

There is a great responsibility here to try to be the teachings. I admit to massive FAIL on that front sometimes, but I am certainly much better than I once was. Now that I have my own students, I hope that I am an inspiration for them to go further in training their own minds.

...And that's it for today. :)

Outside of dharma, work is going well.  One of our cats has had her thyroid meds dosage reduced, which should make her less lethargic.  And we've been doing some serious cleaning / tossing in our apartment, which does make the place feel better.  Not much else to report now. 

Except, it is the little things like cleaning one's space that often show the state of one's mind...

Update, say farewell to "Our Town"

Just a quick note. I should be at Lotus Garden for Khandro Rinpoche right now, but I got sick last week (cold/flu, something like that) and missed work, and decided taking an illness out to the land would not be a good karmic thing. So I am at home. I plan to go out to join the Retreat in progress Thursday morning. Other than that, just life - work has been busy, since we lost 2 people on our 6-person team. Everything else is kind of in statis - which is a rare and beautiful thing, really, and I knopw it will change.

In the meantime, a little musical offering : Iris Dement performing "Our Town" with "The Grey Ghost", Emmylou Harris, on harmony vocals.

I heard a Shambhala sangha member out in Colorado requested his son play this clip right before he left his home to go to hospice care to die. Haunting. And yes, this is the song from the very end of "Northern Exposure". That show is so intertwined with my life in the 90's, I can't watch that clip now w/o crying.

When I die, and/or if I ever end up going into long-term retreat, I'd like to listen to this and Sia's "Breathe Me" right before I go.

In retrospectacle...the ER Experience

Melissa is doing MUCH better. Thank you everyone.
The infection that caused this seemed to clear itself up when she was knocked out by the anti-convulsant drugs. The whole thing was pretty scary, but I'm pleasantly surprised I help together pretty well. As I was saying to someone earlier, I knew that this was a possiblity, and had thought it out in the past. As one of my teachers had said, thinking about what the worst thing that could happen is gets rid of a lot of the fear around it.

As I was walking around the Holy Cross hospital (pictured- It's where I was born, btw) ER with my red/white prayer shawl over my shoulder (it's a Drikung Kagyu thing - It just looks like a small blanket :)), I was struck by all the suffering around. My meditation instructor Ken has said many, many times that we 'mericans are really really good at hiding suffering or keeping it at arm's length - but we end up forcing it into concentrated areas like ghettos (including the Southeast section of pretty much every big city- think about it) or emergency rooms.

Most people don't want to even think about the possibility of suffering, as if it will somehow cause it to be. Well, it was occuring to me as I was standing there looking out softly singing the Garchen RInpoche Chenrezig mantra melody as Meli slept, not thinking about it didn't help anybody in there - from the guy with pnemonia who was treating himself with some of his mother's antibiotics (which is so VERY bad on so many levels - this is how one accidentally could create a 1918 virus, part 2 :( ) and found they didn't help, the three heart attack victims who were forced to be in beds surrounded by curtains in the ER, since the ENTIRE hospital was full, the babies with awful, awful coughs, the woman who was limping in with a 'working dog' (beautiful animal, btw) that had some kind of law enforcement involvement - I doubt any of them thought for a second "I could end up in the ER today. I could see one of my loved ones in that place. "

Also, the fact that four people died as I was walking around also made me think. All these things we try to hide from, just get concentrated.

I am very, very glad that I HAVE thought about these things in depth. It's what I credit with being able to jump in an react with what was required when the convulsions started rather than "what the hell? this can't be happening! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! NO! NO!"

So, that's my take away lesson. Instead of pushing these things out of your mind, allow them in and look directly. Also, connected with that, realize that every conversation you have with someone may be the last conversation you have with them ever. I've found that taking that approach (Trungpa suggested it in "Training the Mind" - he was right again :)) has led me to cut through a lot of the heming and hawing and "I can't say that" I once had.

Anyway, that's the lessons from this weekend. Now, I am really tired (and sore from being landed on several times), so off to sleep.

Dream well, everybody. And think about all this for a minute.

Remember Four Things, Oh son or daughter of noble family...

I've been asked by a few people to talk about 'The Four Reminders", which are in the Tibetan (/Bhutanese/Nepalese/etc.) tradition the very bedrock of the Buddhist path. Everything else is built upon these. as my teacher VKR has said many times, "Any obstacles that can't be overcome, it's simply because one has not contemplated the Four Reminders enough."

For you non-buddhists, this will give you a good overview of the core of what we practice.

So, here they are.  At the top of each, I will include the traditional passage from the Karma Kagyu and the Drigung Kagyu describing each of the four.  I will also include how -I- contemplate them daily, in hopes that some of you might be able to adapt it to your own practice lives.

(I am right now doing all of these from memory - I'll go back later on to make sure all the quoted parts are correct).

__________________________________________________________

First, setting the motivation by reciting - slowly- the "Metta Sutra":

May all beings be happy! Weak or strong, without exception, small or great, seen or unseen, nearby or far away, alive or still to be born - May all beings be entirely happy! 

May nobody despise anyone anywhere, may no one wish harm to any single creature out of anger or hatred!

May we cherish all creatures as a mother would her only child! May our loving thoughts fill the entire world, above, below, and all around, without limit!

May we have a boundless goodwill to the whole world, unrestricted, without hatred or hostility!

---I've heard from many teachers that setting this motivation at the start is very, very important.  

Then, I do 21 breaths, evenly in and out, as described in the classic Jamgon Kongtrol text on LoJong (Mind Training), The Great Path of Awakening.   My ADD-adled brain needs this in order to be able to focus on the 4 Reminders.  

First:

This is a precious human birth, hard to gain and extremely easy to lose. 

Now that I have it, I must not waste it, but instead do something meaningful.

Keyma! This kind of leisure and endowment is supremely difficult to obtain!  

Having obtained this body, which is very easily lost, do not waste it meaninglessly, 

but rather use it to attain the joyous result of ultimate liberation.

---

"a good way to contemplate how fortunate we are is to consider how sentient beings suffer. Traditional Indian Buddhism used six mythical creatures to symbolize this: 

The denizens of hell, drowning in pain,
The poor, starving "preta" spirits
The oblivious animals
The clever, desirous humans
The "asura" demigods, always jealous of the gods
The blissful gods, proud before they fall."

(Source: Ken Rawie)

To go through this, think in this way:

"It is indeed a very rare and precious birth that allows me to practice the dharma to attain liberation in this way.  There are SO many other possibilities that would not allow this, such as:

    (Counting out with my fingers)

-The Hell Realms: 

hot - including Avichi, cold, and surrounding.

-The Human Hell Realms:

 watching loved ones suffer and die and being totally helpless to stop it, with one's body going - for example, by ALS, or being ravaged by cancer- and being helpless to stop the process, with one's mind going - for example, by Alzheimers' - and being utterly helpless to stop the process, 

being raped and/or otherwise violated, being led to your own execution, or being so full of hate and anger that you can't think of the repercussions of your actions and are willing to destroy yourself, for example, a suicide bomber.

-The Preta Realms:

walking around with a tiny mouth and huge belly that can never be close to food.

-The Human Preta Realms:

being without food, water, clean water, medicine surgery or other health care, with drug and alcohol addictions or sexual obsessions, without shelter, employment, companionship or sanity.

-The Animal Realms:

Think about how animals run around, with no real ability to think out their actions. Yes, our dogs and cats seem to have good lives, but what of the TRILLIONS of other animals in the outside world?  Do roaches have free will? Does a giant squid EVER have any idea beyond "eat - swim - kill - don't get killed"? Most animals have very, very hard lives. And, the predators create the karma of killing without even realizing it. 

-The Human Animal Realms:

Think of all the humans who's entire lives are spent simply foraging for food and surviving from day to day.  At LEAST 1/2 of the planet lives like this!  They have no opportunity to realize that there may a happiness beyond a crust of bread (that soon disappears, and then hunger returns...etc.)

The Ashura ("jealous god") Realms:

The classical descriptions are that they are beings that live in incredible luxury compared to every realm below, but it is still not enough.  They know that the Devas live even better, and are determined to 'get theirs now' through force.  But, like the Coyote after the Road-runner, they always get out-smarted, out-gunned, out-everything by the Devas.  Their lives are fantastic, but it's not enough. 

The Human Ashura Realms:

Think of all the men and women doing everything possible to get up the corporate ladder, or the "Hill Climbers" in the House and Senate buildings.  Their minds are so set on getting the next 'piece of cheese', they will do just about Anything to climb higher and get more.  At the same time, though, there is no appreciation for what they have now, or that this lifestyle may have flaws.  These are the kind of people who think "what's my next partner/hook-up going to be like?" in the middle of sex with their current interest, or think "in THAT boardroom they have even better coffee!" while mindlessly sipping their Starbucks (or Seattle's Best or whatever).  It is a realm of suffering.

The Deva ("god") Realms:

These are beings said to live blissfully for 1000's or even millions of our years.  This experience seems to line up with the folk-belief-via-Christianity view of Heaven. There are lots of pleasant experiences, wonderful food, great music, never aging, getting whatever they desire just be thinking about it, real streets of gold-type stuff.  However, they are said to be blissfully unaware of their real condition. After a million years here in the Elysian Fields, they are said to start wilting, and realize that they will have to leave soon.  All the other Devas start avoiding one when they start their quick decline.  There is tremendous anguish at the end when they realize they are about to die.  BUT, the other Devas quickly forget, and the thought doesn't even occur to them that "this will happen to me too."  

The Human Deva Realms:

Think of all the now "whatever happened to?" stars, who used to be on top, but then had to experience the slow horrible slide into anonymity and losing the perks of stardom, such as Joe Piscopo, Chris ODonnell, all the 80's hair metal bands, etc.

Now, compared to all the beings in the six realms, think:

I was born in a central place. A Buddha has come. He has taught. His teaching still exists. People still sponsor and practice these teachings.  There is still genuine compassion and wisdom in the hearts of the teachers. 

I have the inclination, faculties (functioning sense organs, relatively sane mind), and opportunity to study, contemplate, and practice these teachings. 

This is rarer than one star in the infinite sky, or a snow flake in an ice age. This chance will NOT come again.  Don't you DARE waste This Precious Life."

Second:

The whole world and it's inhabitants are impermanent. 

In particular, the life of beings is like a bubble. 

Death is real; it comes without warning.  This very body will soon be a corpse. 

At that time, my Dharma practice will be my only help; I must practice now with exertion.

The nature of all phenomena is impermanence;

death is a certainty for all who are born.

Death can come any time, like a drop of morning dew on a blade of grass.

Quick! NOW it is time to make effort for the essence of Dharma.

"I will die. I WILL die. There is no reason to believe this could not be the day i die. (Think about all the ways you could die today - accidentally choking, tripping and falling down the stairs, getting in a car accident, getting hit by a freak meteorite, lighting strike, or blue ice, etc.) But, there is no reason to believe this could not be the day I finally understand these teachings.  And, it is said that the moment of death is one of the best opportunities to "get it". So, It is a good day to die.

I must always remember the reality that (counting on fingers):

- I will die.

- My wife (or spouse, partner, etc.) will die. Our animals will die. Any children we have will die.

(-if you have children, you would count them off and say ""   " will die")

-My mom and dad will die. My spouses parents will die. (or, if they have already passed, count off "my "   " has already died")

- My siblings will die. (If you have a sibling that has had a severe illness, count off  ""    " has already almost died once.")

- My friends will die. (again, if any friends have died, remember that as above)

- My family will die. (ditto)

- My sangha(s) will die.  (For VKR folks, remember Lucinda died, and remember what Rinpoche said about that)

- My root guru "    " will die.

- My other root teacher "   "will die (if you have more than one).

- This very special friend will die/this special friend has died/this teacher has died (all you Trungpa Rinpoche students would fill his name in)/etc.

Everybody who has ever been born has died. (Even if the warmed-up Mithrasism that became the Christian "greatest story ever told" IS a real historical event,  Rabboni Yeshua bar Yoseph Nazarene - better known as the badly-translated 'Jesus Christ' - DID die, at least for a while)

Death is real. It comes without warning. Because of this, it makes much more sense to be ready for it than ignore the inevitability."

Third:

When death comes, I will be helpless. 

Because I create karma, I must abandon evil deads and always perform virtuous actions. 

Everyday, I will examine myself.

The fruit of one's positive karma is happiness; suffering is the fruit of negative karma. 

Karmic cause and effect is inevitable for all phenomena.

From now on, practice the Dharma by distinguishing between what should be practiced - and what should be given up.

"There are actions that always lead to suffering, and actions that always lead to a fruition of happiness.  Because of this, I must cut the Ten Unvirtuous Actions of:

- Killing - physically or mentally

- Taking what is not offered (more than just stealing)

- Sexual misconduct and obsession

- Lying, especially for one's own selfish benefit

- Speech that causes disharmony and conflict 

- Harsh speech (yelling "Motherfu2ker!" when someone cuts you off in traffic counts, even if no one else hears)

- Meaningless talk - gossip, idle talk, 'talking a lot but not saying anything'

- Craving and jealousy for what someone else has

- Wishing to harm another being

- Having wrong views on cause and effect (not believing that every action has a reaction)

I must cultivate the Ten Virtuous Actions of:

- Protecting life wherever possible (saving earthworms, etc.)

- Generosity

- Only performing sexual acts that won't cause suffering * (I know some traditional texts say here "no oral sex", but - if YOU lived in a culture that only bathed 1-2 times a year, would YOU welcome putting your mouth on a body part that hadn't been cleaned in 6 months? I don't think so! :))

- Speaking the truth - it's much easier than having to keep up lies, anyway

- Uniting speech, words the heal divisions

- Gentle speech - it's pretty much what most people expect of Buddhists, anyway! :) 

- Speaking only what is necessary, without going into idle useless conversation 

- Rejoicing at other's good fortune

- Wishing positive occurrences for others

- Having correct views of cause and effect (through study and contemplation)"

Fourth:

The homes, friends, wealth and comforts of samsara are the torments of the three sufferings, just like a feast before the executioner leads you to your death.  

I must cut desire and attachment and attain enlightenment through exertion.

In the three lower realms, and even in the three higher ones, 

there is not an Instant of Absolute happiness.

I will avoid the root cause of my samsaric existence

and practice the excellent path of peace to enlightenment.

"All this stuff of samsara is honey on a razor blade. EVERY bit of happiness in samsara also comes with suffering attached.  The people that are the greatest joys in our lives are also the source of our greatest sorrows when they leave your life, through emotional/physical distance or ultimately through death.

All the "good things" of samsara end, and then suffering begins.

Relationships end.

Orgasms end. (since that's considered by many to be the peak of existence)

The most intense sexual experiences end.

ALL experiences end.

Meals end. Books end. Vacations end. Movies end. Conversations end. 

EVERYTHING ends.  Because of this, it makes the most sense to get ready for the inevitability and, as Dr. Suess said, "Don't be sad that it's over. Be glad that is happened.""

...So, by the end of this, what have we learned? That this life you have - even with all the troubles, physical and mental defects, and problems - is about a zillion times better than pretty much EVERY other being in the universe. (The WHOLE universe - as Khenchen Rinpoche said, "even UFO aliens just want happiness and freedom from suffering too" :))  Be glad for that.

However, this amazingly precious life can be gone -like that (snap fingers).  There's a grinning reaper in your future - maybe 20 years, maybe 20 seconds, but he's there.  Grim Reaper, Yama  - the Lord of Death, however you want to anthropomorphize, it's still The End. There really is no time to lose.

In the time you have left, you commit innumerable actions with body, speech and mind.  Instead of getting freaked out or getting a Catholic-style "sin! sin! sin!" guilt trip about this, instead, use is as an opportunity to actually SEE what you really do.  This very moment, you can change your behaviors and change what happens next. It's just that easy - and that difficult.

Just in case you still figured, "Screw this! I have this wonderful life, but death may come at any time. I wanna get mine NOW!", well, sorry to be the rain parade, dude, but "getting yours" will just lead to more sorrow and unhappiness.  "Whatever you wish to keep, you'd better grab it fast" (so sang Mr. Zimmerman in 'it's all over now, baby blue")  - but anything you grab will be like sand through your fingers. You can't hold or solidify that experience. Period.  Sorry, that's the rules of the universe, your mileage may vary.  Everyone, everything you try to hold onto will change and/or go away.

From contemplating all this repeatedly, what should arise is an intense urge to sit down and practice.  It will also undo some of the "stickiness" or "big deal" quality of things of this world.

AFTER all this, then we get to fun stuff - the blissfulness of shamatha resting in emptiness, the pleasantness of yidam practice, the "what -have- I been holding onto all these years! It's silly! :)' release quality of vipashina (analytical insight).  But, without this basis, most people won't stick it out to get to those points.

So, this is the Four Reminders.  After going through these slowly, it is recommended that one do Guru Yoga (as described in a previous post).  

IAGW, this will help some of you deepen your practice.

Let me know of you have any questions.

-Jurme Thaye Randrol

You Were Warned...:) - Randrol Gets the Stupids with The Tick

Ok, ya'll, Remember I mentioned on the right sidebar about the probability of insanity appearing on this blog? Well, here is the first dose. A clip from yet another of the "Shows FOX killed before they could get up to full speed:"The Tick".

Here's the Tick delivering a totally demented-yet-strangely-poignant eulogy for his friend, the Immortal, who died in the middle of sex with female superhero American Maid:

So, here's yet another reminder of the second reminder - just mixed with a healthy dose of

"experiential knowledge of non-traditional definitions of sanity".

-JTR

A little musical interlude - only the stones remain

OK, ya'll - a little musical interlude.

The core of my old musical project, the Number Nine Line, has reunited to record a track for an upcoming tribute album "Glass Flesh 3" for eccentric british singer-songwriter Robyn Hitchcock. (If you are old enough, you may remember him for his late 80's college radio hits "Balloon Man", "One long pair of eyes", and "so you think you're in love".) We choose to record the track "Only the Stones Remain." We recorded this track in 1998 for the album "Glass FLesh 2."

Give a listen. I'll just say that we've all grown quite a bit since then.

Only the Stones Remain - 1998

Only the Stones Remain - 2008

Here's the lyrics.  A nice little ditty about the end of everything and the ultimate silliness of our activities.  Somehow appropriate that I would select this tune to do, back then, and then take refuge and really become a Buddhist practioner the following year.

Like I've said before, it was really coming home to people who thought the same way I already did.

Anyway, cheers, mates! 

-LWWD

Only the Stones Remain

Men were executed, women bled
Meat and fish changed hands and children stayed up late
Coloured drums they displaced the night
There's a taxidemist looking for a fight
But now he's gone 
Only the stones remain

Girls were decked with flowers and violated while
Boys spat juice from out of their fresh young bulbs
Soldiers crossed their hearts and died 

while pretty girls turned cold inside
But now they're gone 
Only the stones remain 

And the stones have forgotten them
The stones have forgotten them

They break your body and drain the life out of it
It sinks into the soil while the soul flies up into the air above
and when there's no more tears to cry
There's nothing left to do but laugh
State led collabarations collapse and candy floss evaporates, honey
Only the stones remain
  

On the Road Again...or, Blogging in the Bathroom in my Boxers

Well, we are on the road west. We went from Silver Spring to Columbus, Ohio in about 6 hours. Not bad. Daisy pretty much slept most of the way, While Melissa and I listened to 3 Beautiful South albums in a row. (For those keeping score at home, they were "Blue is the Color", "0898", and "Welcome to the Beautiful South".) Wonderfully poppy, but just as lyrically dark and twisted as Richard Thompson, with a little more dry bitter wit.

460-some miles melted away pretty quickly. I was going to post about how bloody boring and stupid Ohio is, but I realize I've got a grudge against the state that's a bit irrational due to a kinda cruel trick someone from that state played on me a decade ago. I'll go into that in a later post. Besides, DEVO came from Ohio, so it can't be ALL bad. :)

Now that we are in our Hotel (La Quinta - 60 bucks a night, pets allowed), I have had a chance to sit (shamatha-vipashina) a bit. I was looking at the picture of the late Lucinda Peach I have in my practice materials, and it got me thinking. (ok, it got me crying while I was doing tonglen for her a few minutes ago).
Khandro Rinpoche has said many times that Vajra sangha - buddhist practitioners who have been in the same stream of Vajrayana teachings, practices and empowerments - should be as close as (or even closer than) brothers and sisters.

I didn't realize it until Lucinda's death that I have come to view a group of the DC Khandro Rinpoche sangha that way. When you ride for a couple hours 2 ways many times during the year over several with people, you do get to know them pretty well (to say nothing of time on the land at Lotus Garden, study groups, etc.) I wish I had had more goofy email exchanges with Lucinda than I did.
I wish I had kept up regular contact during the weeks, and especially wish I had involved myself in helping her for what turned out to be her final months.

As sad as this is, I feel 100 times worse for my fellow DC sangha dry-wit conspirator (and co-suspect besides myself for being behind the incredibly bizzarre "Gumbi Prakesh" emails in the LG community a few years back) Jerry, who I still think really WAS her brother. And it made me think more. Besides Melissa, there are a couple of women (kpm and sls) that I view as family (ok, one is a complex case on my part) that it would feel like an amputation if they were suddenly dead. I worry about this kind of thing. Of course, My wife has her seizure disorder, which could kick in at any time.
Thankfully, I haven't had to go to hospital in the aftermath of a seizure for 5 or 6 years.

But I worry about these 2. One's a cancer survivor, which, in light of what happened to Lucinda, need I say more?
The other one has some kind of blood pressure thing that has been causing her to pass out, which has already given her a concussion once. If this were to happen when she were driving...
As I was saying emailing an old college friend who is mutual friends with sls, I have a reoccuring nightmare that she dies in an accident, but no one thinks to tell me until 6 months later. It always ends right when I throw myself on the ground at her headstone, screaming "No! no! no!"   Not a very pleasant thought.

I keep urging them to take care of themselves. I'm not sure what else I can do.

Well, now that anyone reading this feels like putting on a Smiths record :), I'm going to look up abandoned railroads around Columbus. I've been into them since i was really little. Drikung Khenchen Rinpoche said that it is very good to hang around such places - it's a great reminder of impermence and decay, which are inevitable for all of samsara.

I plan to post a bit about Lucinda's Sukavati service (such as what in the heck a Sukavati IS) later tomorrow, IAGW (If All Goes Well).

Everyone dream well.

-LWWD

Farewell, Farewell

I thought Baltimore Shambhala Center director Julie Heegaard said it best, so I am quoting her email verabtum:

"It is with a sad heart that I share with you that Lucinda Peach, a
member of both the Washington DC Shambhala Community and the Lotus
Garden community, died today. Those of you who have known her are
aware that she survived cancer a few years ago, but it came back in
full force this year, having spread throughout her body. She was a
fighter but it was obvious it would be a very difficult battle.
Yesterday she was hospitalized with a systemic infection, fell into
unconciousness and was put on a respirator. Around 3:00 pm today, her
family had the respirator removed and she died peacefully shortly
thereafter.

May Lucinda's death serve as a powerful reminder of the unpredictable
length of our precious impermanent lives and the precious impermanent
lives of all those we encounter. And may this reminder immeasurably
increase our gratitude, our kindness, and our determination to live
wisely."

This was our beautiful Lucinda. She seemed to embody the Lojong slogan
"Always have a joyful mind".

Three of us were practicing the full Vajrasattva sadhana (the crown jewel of
the practices of the Mindrolling Lineage, which we belong to through
Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche)for her last night and had an extra vajra and ghanta set out.

This was supposed to be for anybody else who was able to show up,
but it seemed by the end of the practice that it was set up as a
tribute to Lucinda (who more often than not would have -been- the
other person who showed up on short notice for such practice.)

It kind of made it seem more real that she's gone. :(

The Sukavati (Buddhist funeral) is tomorrow.
-LWWD



"Energy never dies. It just changes form."-Single Gun Theory

A little reminder of the 2nd Reminder - The end of "Six Feet Under"

Ladies and Gents, the haunting brilliant ending of the series "Six Feet Under." I always go back to this clip when I have momentarily forgotten that "Death is real, it comes without warning, this body will soon be a corpse" as the Karma Kagyus say.
The first time I saw this, I had to just sit down in a darkened room after the camera pans up at the end to that ominous low minor note drone. Wow. When people talk about the power of art, THIS is a good example.

Since I drive the exact same car Claire does in the clip, I sometimes throw on "that song" on the album "Color the small one" by Sia (an excellent album for driving at night, btw) when I am starting my car to go somewhere and get reminded that there's only so much time, so is what I am doing/thinking REALLY that important?

As one of the old masters said, "there are only two questions you need to ask about every action of body, speech, and mind (or "thought, word, and deed", if you prefer the New Testament phrasing :)). 1) Is this action helping another sentient being? and 2) Will this action be of help at the moment of death?"

I'm not there yet...
-lwwd

Guru Yoga, The Passing of HH Mindroling Trinchen; 4 weeks 'TIl Welfare

Since I last posted, there's been a big event in the rag-tag bunch of misfits that are the sangha around Khandro Rinpoche.
Her father, His Holiness Mindroling Trinchen,played with his dog, sat up in meditation posture, smiled, and passed away.

It's one of those "practice like your hair is on fire" reminders, really.

I've been doing Guru Yoga, as Khandro Rinpoche requested.

(For anyone reading this (is there anyone reading this?) who doesn't know what this is, it is visualizing the embodiment of all the Buddhas of the Three times (especially one's root teachers) sitting in front of you in the form of Padmasambhava, the dude who brought the Vajrayana dharma to the Tibetan Plateau (which includes Nepal, Mongolia, and large chunks of Siberia and China) generating devotion to him, and then dissolving him into yourself.

It's a way of using devotion (which is the transformative element in all the REAL religious traditions) to transcend ones' constant 'me-orientedness'. The Sufi's do this, Hindus do it, and Rabboni Yeshua bar Yosheph wasn't just talking to hear Himself talk when He said "Love God with all your heart".
The thing that is different in Buddhist tantra compared to everything else is the part when that which is being supplicated is then dissolved in oneself.

It's a nice skillful means of making it clear that "that Great Wonderful thing that is being supplicated/prayed to/etc. is the same as you." Or, if you are especially thick-headed (like me), then it's "that Great Wonderful thing that is being supplicated/prayed to/etc. is the same as you, Dumb-ass!!!"

So, I've been doing as Rinpoche asked. I've been doing most of my practice in bed the past couple weeks, though, since my usual shrine room is filled with furniture and stuff since our office got flooded by the upstairs neighbor's radiator.
Also, Daisy the Dog and the kitties love the bed.

Peace and stuff.