What it means to 'take refuge', What's with the Prostrations???

  I've been asked by a few people to explain the whole concept of Refuge practice in the Buddha-dharma. I'll do this as a two-for-one: I'll cover the actual refuge ceremony and how it applied to my life (and changed it), and then the 'turbo-charged' version of refuge: Prostrations, the first part of what are called the "extraordinary preliminaries" or ngondro in Tibetan. This is where things start to get 'interesting' (some would say "Are you insane?") since ngondro includes at least 100,000 prostrations. I say 'at least' because there is one lineage that requires 300,000 prostrations in the course of the ngondro.  As you will find out, I ended up IN that lineage. 

Part 1: Refuge

This is when one "officially" becomes a "Buddhist." In that way, it is similar to when one gets baptized in any of the Christian traditions (though much more like adult baptism, or when one gets 'confirmed', since there is some learning and understanding that has to come first.) In pretty much all traditions of all the yanas, one takes refuge is the Buddha as a teacher, the Dharma as the teachings, and the Sangha as those who follow the first two.


Before explaining that in more depth, I suppose I should explain what the historical basis of 'taking refuge' is, since a lot of people don't -quite- get it. According to Khandro Rinpoche, back in the time of the historical Buddha Shakimuni, the people in a kingdom would literally 'take refuge' in the local king/chieftain's' palace/compound whenever outlaws or opposing tribes would roll into town. In this case, taking refuge quite literally meant trust one's life to their local ruler. (As an aside, check out Karen Armstrong's excellent biography "Buddha" for some good info on Prince Siddhartha's/Shakimuni's life and times. His path of peace is all the more remarkable if you realize just how violent and turbulent a time he lived in.)


Now, the objects of refuge in Buddha-dharma are usually known collectively as "the Three Jewels" or "the Triple Gem." (A little note: This holy trio is not in any way similar to the Christian 'Holy Trinity' - though there IS a lot of similarity (at least in the monastic/retreatant traditions) between that and what is called the 'three kayas', which I will hopefully get to in the future.)

It should be realized up front there are many different levels of understanding and commitment possible.  

In most Asian countries where the dharma has been for centuries, most of the lay people have officially 'taken refuge'. However, they are pretty much equivalent to the "Easter/Christmas Christians" who believe in the tenants (though in both cases I am pretty sure most people don't REALLY understand what they profess to believe in), show up at the temple/church on the big holy days, and pray/make offerings when they want something (to pass their drivers' test, that their uncle survives surgery, etc.)

As an aside, I'm not sure what these folks shout during sex. Most buddhists I know are formerly theistic, and still shout at "oh GOD!" at the moment of orgasm - it's a cultural thing at this point, really. :))

While I suppose there is some positive karma due to sense of direction for these folks, there is no big deal to this - they don't all of a sudden turn in to slow-talking fountains of wisdom like Kain from the 70's "Kung Fu" TV series starring David Carradine. I saw some B-movie once where someone said "all buddhists vibrate at the same frequency", and thought "Huh? Vibrators? What's the frequency, Buddha? Geez, this has NOTHING to do with the 4 Noble Truths. :)"

But, the next step up are the actual lay practitioners. These are people who have a job, wear hats, etc. and also actually get their asses down on the cushion to meditate. Most of the meditators reading this would fall in this category. This is what several people recently did with Acharya Richard John at the DC Shambhala Center. It is usually done (at least in the West) after someone has actually been practicing (usually at least Shamatha ('calm-abiding') to get some control over their mind) for a while.

By taking this step, one is saying to everyone attending (but mostly to one's self) "I am not going to float around investigating bits and pieces of various religions/philosophies, but instead commit myself to this path from this moment on until the day I die." It is about making clear to yourself that this is your path. Period.


I've been asked how this has affected me personally.  I took refuge for the first time under Khandro Rinpoche in August of 1999, at the conclusion of the mind-altering 'Gateway' program. For me, after the refuge ceremony, when VKR snapped her fingers and said "ok, you have done it", it was like a demarcation was set. To me, it was like saying " this is what I am now."
But much more than that. Admittedly, right afterwards, for a while, it just meant to me "ok, i am a buddhist now." However, after several months, I found that it had more of an effect. There was a bit of 'I am committed to this path, so my actions should show some respect to the Three Jewels.' Also, I had a thirst for more that would make my understanding increase. At the same time, some notion of ethics snuck itself in. There was a bit of "If I am committing myself to this path, I should try not to be am embarresement to it." When I went back to WAC for my five-year college reunion, I could see some of the effects.

After several periods of being a bit of a drunk (and worse) in college, when I got out for the reunion, I didn't really want to do that role again. I wanted to be able to read this one dharma book, which I wouldn't be able to do un-sober. So, after hanging out and talking to a bunch of folks I used to know, I went back to the dorm room I had for the night. Several people noticed that "why is Duder* the most sober person here?" After taking refuge, a sense of "I am a representative of the dharma" also came to the forefront.

But this is just part of the story. Honestly, the main points of refuge I didn't - quite get until later-especially after I took refuge again several months later with then-Khenpo Rinpoche in Frederick. The sense of a sense of protection from Buddha, Dharma, Sangha increased. 'Protection' in this case is pretty much protection from myself, and my own nerousis and unawareness.

When I started my ngondro in July of 2001, THEN I learned about the other element of surrender....but that will have to be part 2....:)

-JTR

*Yes, this was my nick-name in college. No, this was before "the Big Lebowski". and no, I don't really use it anymore. :)

Prayers to the Protectors - Part 1

I've been asked to say a few words about the Dharma protectors, one of the most unique - and most easily misunderstood - aspects of Himalayan Buddhism.  These are said to be beings that specifically guard the Vajrayana tantras and tantra practitioners, up to a point.  The dharma protectors (who are known in sanskrit as Dharmapalas, dakas, and dakinis) can be understood in many ways.  The most common protector is Mahakala.

"Mahakala: Sanskrit name meaning ‘The Great Black One’. Originally a non-Buddhist deity, sometimes seen as a form of the Hindu god Śiva, he is a wrathful tutelary deity (yi-dam) and protector of the faith (dharmapāla). In tantric Buddhism he is considered to be a manifestation of the Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara, and his worship (pūjā) and related practices are described in detail in the Mahākāla Tantra. Various iconographic forms exist of Mahākāla in Indian and Tibetan tantric Buddhism with between four and sixteen arms. A non-wrathful form exists in Japan where he is associated with good fortune and is known as Daikokuten."
source: answers.com

Some people like to focus on the outer protectors, and some the inner protectors.  Since the inner protectors are much more sensible to westerners on  a psychological level, I will start with them.

The Inner Protectors

Here is a practical explanation of the protectors, as taught by Chogyum Trungpa Rinpoche.  The example given is: Imagine you are arguing with someone, and you are totally red-faced angry, and completely unaware of yourself or your surroundings.  Basically you have no mindfulness at all.  Now, imagine you were to storm out of the room, go to slam the door shut, and catch your finger, instantly bringing you back (albeit in a not-so-pleasant way) to yourself, and allowing you to sort of reinhabit yourself. It brings your mind back to where you are. 
 
That right there is the protector...that's Mahakala...Ekajati, etc.  The protectors are the personification of wrathful wakefulness.

Now, Wrathfulness confuses a lot of people. It can be abused to disguise plan old anger, which is NOT enlightened.  There is always a danger of people claiming they are manifesting "vajra anger" in an attempt to wake somebody else up.  This is a VERY slippery slope.  The comedian/performance artist Andy Kaufman tried to work this ground, to varying results. ( At some point, I am going to have cover "Saint Andy" - He's had a pretty big influence on how I have manifested myself at different times.)  I would suggest to newer students that they go a LONG time before they attempt to act as protectors - unless they are in the Dorje Kasung ('Vajra protectors') within the Shambhala organization, which I will cover later also, IAGW. 

I like to say it's like the difference between His Holiness the Dalai Lama saying very gently to some kids playing in a house that has caught on fire, "ok children, you need to get out of the house..."...and Samuel L. Jackson in full-blown Jules Winnfield from "Pulp Fiction" mode shouting at the kids "GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF THE MOTHER FU@KING HOUSE NOW!!!!!"
Both are done for the same reason, out of love and concern for the kids, but one is much more forceful.

Protectors practices are done at dusk, as a way of rousing one's wakefulness, since after a long day, that is when one would be most likely to indulge in mindless activities in the name of 'relaxing'.  Doing these practices at dusk is to a great extent a way of saying to yourself "wake up!  Keep up your mindfulness! This precious human birth will be over in a flash, so there really is no time for mindlessness."  

 

Next time, Part 2: the Outer Protectors

Here is where things start to get into "Agent Mulder, is that you?" territory.  It's worth it's own post...so it will get that. :)  

-JTR

How the Black Swan Came to the Lake...

I've been asked by several newer students to explain my lineage. My path is not exactly the usual "person-curious-about-meditation-comes-into-the-shambhala-center-and-follows-the-curiculum".  Ok, it's not even CLOSE to 'normal'.

If I had to describe my stream, it would be Drikung Kagyu-Mindrolling/Nyingma-Shambhala-Karma Kagyu.

You were warned it would be a mouthful! :)

To give the short version:

Soto Zen practitioner - 1995-1997 (sporadically)

Shambhala practitioner- 1997-present

Dharma Art practitioner - 1998-present  

Mindrolling lineage practitioner - 1999-present

Drikung Kagyu practitioner - 2000-present

...and Karma Kagyu mixed in with all the other lineages.

Ok, the long version:

1989-91

After reading a lot of the Beat's writings (Kerouac, Ginsburg, Burroughs, Watts - the usual suspects :)) in high school, I had an interest in Buddhism.  At that point, it was just reading and thinking "that makes sense". No sitting yet.

1993-95

Skip ahead a bit. Re-reading Kerouacs' "the Dharma Bums".  Got some interest in Zen.  Took class in college last semester on Zen Buddhism. Decent class, VERY good books, but not a part of me yet.

1996

Occasionally sitting, but not in a guided, focused way. Combined methods, which watered down effectiveness. Sat from time to time with a local Zen group at someone's house north of baltimore. OK, but not really incorprating into 'the core of my being' yet.  

At the time, was somewhat leading and writting songs for half-assed unfocused rock band.  Writing methods included at least a third of a bottle of rum. Pretty much using the Jim Morrison "I'm a songwriter, so I have a right to be a drunken asshole" idea which quite often doesn't lead anywhere good. (Exhibit A: Jim himself. ) Trying to live like 90's-critic's pick Mark Eitzel of American Music Club, but not exactly at his poetic level yet, no matter how blurry things were the next morning after a writing session.

1997

Hit long-overdue point of "This is your world. It isn't working." Had rug pulled out emotionally -   My concept of me had been been built on someone else instead, who was no longer available to fill that role. (See my earlier "my beef with Ohio" post). What's that line from the Jayhawk's song "Blue"*? "Always thought I was someone, turned out I was wrong."    Realized that not eating for three weeks and not sleeping without the benefit of rum and/or pharmaceuticals in the aftermath was not healthy.  Thought advice of 'just never talk with each other again' sucked, and was tired of dodging and chickening out of challenges, as I had always done before.  Decided to try opposite approach instead of crawling back under my stone.  Knew that dharma was most workable solution, and also realized I couldn't do that on my own, either.  Sought out more 'permanent' spiritual home.

Tried to go sit with another Zen group, found they had closed, but was refered to Baltimore Shambhala Meditation Center (BSMC) at 11 Mount Royal Avenue. Went, got meditation instruction, started sitting regularly there.  After facing down a whole #@$#-load of longing, regrets, fantasies, and rage and labeled it "thinking", found I was able to function a bit better.  

1998

Still sitting regularly at BSMC. By auspicious coincidence, ran into Dave Cip, a master of hindi-style slide guitar and member of BSMC, at a Richard Thompson concert at Artscape.  He told me about the Dharma Art program happening the next weekend at BSMC.  I was intrigued and said I would be there.  I then proceeded to get shit-faced before meeting one of my musical heroes (who, as a serious practicing Sufi, is a teetotaler). 

The next weekend, did program. it spoke to me in a way NOTHING had before. Ladies and gents, here's where I bit the hook. :)  At one point, did an object arrangement that incorporated a picture of Khandro Rinpoche.  THAT stopped my mind. A little taste of what was to come.

1999

Sitting more regularly.  Did more Dharma Art programs.  Doing one of these that fell on Vesak Day, we did an offering to a Buddha at the Maryland Institute College of Art.  At that point, I asked the co-director (who was also my MI) "Ok, I've been shadowboxing with the dharma long enough.  What do I need to do to get into the Khandro Rinpoche retreat and take refuge?"

Started studying for the Fall Retreat 'Gateway' program. (About this time, I had busted my right hand, so the band I had been in was allowed to just die off.  This was a good thing, since the Khandro RInpoche study group night was the same night as band practice had been.)

Met many people who remain good friends to the present day. Went to the Annual Retreat for five-day program. Felt like the top of my head was lobbed off, and all thought processes temporarily re-wired. This was a good thing.  I am still amazed at just how not-quite-sane I was back then, whenever I reread the transcripts of that teaching and come to my bizzare lines of questioning.

Came back, and decided to move out of parent's basement. (Strangely enough, the amount I had been spending on a practice space was enough for a security deposit in the DC area). Answered ad for a group house in Takoma Park.  Found a more senior student from Khandro Rinpoche's sangha was already living there! (what are the chances?) Also, Jimmy Pittard, a senior student of another lineage, the Drikung Kagyu, was living there.  THAT is what we call "auspicious coincidence."

Sitting regularly, spliting time evenly between Baltimore and DC Shambhala.  Spending evenings hitting bars and dance clubs with Baltimore Khandro Rinpoche friends. Those were good times.  

Woke up Thanksgiving morning passed out on friends' floor in Baltimore with no idea how I got there.  Last blackout of this lifetime.  

Spent New Years Eve with Baltimore Shambhala Sangha. Woke up next morning (after an hour's sleep) in BSMC shrine room with several other sangha members strewn around, to be there for first sitting of the year. Found out I snored. :)   Jann Jackson announced that the 17th Karmapa had just escaped from Tibet to India.

2000

One evening in February, came back in from running around Georgetown with some B-more VKR folks to find someone sleeping on the couch of the house on Tulip Avenue. I apologized for waking them, and asked for their name. In this great gravelly drawl, "Konchog Dorje." Me:"that sounds like a dharma name." Him: "Well, I-am- a monk."   

First meeting with Bikshu Konchog Dorje from Atlanta, a former attorney-turned-monastic in the Drikung Kagyu, and one of the coolest people you will ever meet.  Any preconceptions I may have had about monastics being these totally pure Ziggy Stardust-like glitering beings  were totally destroyed by Dorje. :)  In his earlier life, his week could beat your year.  He lived in our house for a while when he was undergoing an experimental treatment for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma at NIH (which was a success).  For those who know of that disease, yes, Dorje is HIV positive.  Amazingly, he has (as of this writing) been living for over 20 years with full-blown AIDS. Impossible, you say? I've noticed that people who practice dharma correctly can often manifest amazing states of health and grow old very gracefully. (Witness all the hot mamas among the senior students over 50 in the Lotus Garden sangha :)).

A couple months later, I went up to the Tibetan Meditation Center in Frederick, MD, which is the North American seat of the Drikung Kagyu.  I was introduced by Jimmy and Dorje to then-Khenpo (now Khenchen) Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche, who taught on the 12 nidanas.  I thought he was a very good teacher, quite funny, and very different from Khandro Rinpoche.  

In May, I went to my fifth college reunion.  Apparently the differences in behavior were setting in already.  Someone said "ok, what's happening here, when Duder (my old college nickname - no, I don't use it any more - and neither should you :)) is the most sober person in the room?" :)  It was great to see folks again, but I wanted to be able to read this great mind-training text i'd borrowed from one of my housemates called "The Wheel of Sharp Weapons" when I went to bed.  To keep my mental faculties sharp enough,  I had 1 1/2 beers the whole night, and a bunch of water, so I felt nothing except the wonderful taste of Guiniess and the need to go to the bathroom often. :)   

I went up to TMC Frederick again for a weekend in June, which was within a day of my meeting my now-wife, Meli.  For some reason, Khen Rinpoche's teaching this time wacked me upside the head as Khandro Rinpoche had done the previous fall.  I don't know why, but for the next several weeks I experienced everything in a much more direct way than ever before, like some kind of blinders had fallen off.  It wore off eventually, but I had some direct experience of some kind of samadhi. 

In Frederick, in addition to the Very Venerable Khenchen Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche, my teachers have since included H.E. Garchen Rinpoche, Drupon Trinlay Norbu Rinpoche, and Khenpo Tsultrim Tendzin Rinpoche. 

Khenpo Tsultrim did my wedding along with my Ani Jamyang/Kimi Monroe and a very, very interesting Lutheran pastor named Chad Kline. 

So, this is how I came to the Dharma and stayed.  I've noticed that in the first year after taking refuge, about 50% of people think "this is all too hard and too much work" and dissappear from the dharma.  Spiritual burnout from taking on too much too soon is a real possibility.

However, in that time period, I had Jimmy and, for several stretches of time, Dorje living in my house, who were right there to answer all those questions and doubts newer students have.  So, I've gotten only deeper and deeper in ever since, and I have no intention of leaving. 

So, this is where I am now.  I'll just play the game existance til the end...of the beginning...of the beginning...of the beginning...

Next time, kids, a history of all the lineages I am part of. How they have all intertwined with each other through the centuries is pretty interesting stuff.

-JTR

* This is the "one damn song that can make me break down and cry", as David Bowie once put it.