Update; One Year since Lucinda's Death

A brief update.  I have been working for the past month as part of the web team on the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) - formerly the INS- website. It's going pretty good so far. As much as I valued having more practice time, that "getting paid" thing certainly has it's advantages. :)

...especially since our ceiling needed to be replaced in our back bedroom, since the fan shifted in the course of one day to a dangerous "imminent risk of collapse".  So, our apt is filled w/ stuff, to allow someone to come in and fix it (and paint the room while they were at it).  It is forcing us to go through our @#@$ and get rid of a lot of stuff - minimalizing, I suppose.

This weekend, some of the DC Khandro Rinpoche group got together to do the Mindrolling Lineage Vajrasattva (aka "Dor Sem") full sadhana practice. It felt great to do it again - though it has been several months and it was comically/painfully obvious we were all out of practice with the practice. :)

As we were doing it, someone mentioned that it had been exactly a year since our dear Lucinda Peach's death. I am thinking that got us all thinking a bit more about how we are practicing, and what we are doing with our lives.  It certainly did for me.

...and on that note, good night, and good luck. If all goes well, until later.

-JTR

Nothing like a good theological debate; Lucinda's Sukavati

After the hot air balloon thing, I got back to Jen and George's house. We pulled in literally right behind Jen's younger brother (& Meli's cousin) Ben and his wife Kim. I walked off to do something, and came back into the room right as George was talking about reading the Revelation of John in Greek. "Showtime!!!" :)

What followed was a nice long debate on various theological topics. It always feels good to pull on that knowledge base - the original Apocalypse of Peter that was slated to end the Bible until someone realized that it said that "the Jews" would also escape the world of the dead (Hades - NOT the Hell most people think of, which was essentially invented in Dante's Inferno) in the end, Covenant eschatology (the view that the predicted calamity Yeshua Bar Yoseph described was NOT some event far in the future, but instead happened in 70 A.D. when the Romans razed the Temple in Jerusalem (in effect literally the end of the world for the Jewish people), 
the fact that the Emperor Nero was called "the Beast" in his own time partially because of his sicko amusement of playing "a kind of game in which, covered with the skin of some wild animal, he was let loose from a cage and attacked the private parts of men and women, who were bound to stakes {and I would assume leaving them to bleed to death - LWWD}." (The Lives of the Caesars, 6.29), other reasons why it's painfully obvious the Book of Revelations is a tirade against the Roman empire, the whole "666 vs. 616" controversy (it turns out someone did a BIG flub in translation at some point along the way), Bart Ehrman, Karen Armstrong, Mithras, Simon Magus, the questionable nature of Paul/Saul of Tarsus's "conversion", etc.

2 hours of fun to me.  Like all good debate (IMHO, and that of my buddhist traditions), it ended with everyone being further educated.

Now, to finally finish up about Lucinda's Sukavati - 

Jann Jackson led it masterfully. Her explanation of what the Sukavati is about, and about what tonglen is before leading a session for Lucinda, was about was brilliant.  Personally, I idolize Jann, and hope that if I reach 60, I can be even half the pressence that she is. 

There were boxes of tissue being passed around, which were needed.  I was on Dorje Kasung duty, being one of the people who was supposed to monitor the room to gauage the comfort of the attendees.  I admit, I was having a hard time doing my role when in my direct line of sight was a photo of Lucinda (which I had found and shared with the Int'l sangha, btw - glad to be of help) that was symbolically burned at the end.  Looking and seeing it there made me well up.

On the somewhat lighter side, the 4 core members of the Milarepa chorus - myself, Larry Fallon, Susan Page, and my MI Ken Rawie- stood up to sing a concluding dedication prayer that we've been ending practices with for quite a while. It's actually quite beautiful, I think:

"All you sentient beings

I've had a good or bad connection with

as soon as you have left

this confused dimension

may you be born in the West is Sukavahti

and once you're born there

complete the bhumis and the paths."

While our performance started out rough (we started a half-octave lower than we'd ever rehearsed), by two lines in, we'd found our stride again.

It felt right to do that.  

After the Sukavati itself, there was a reception. It was great to catch up with people, especially the sizable contingent from the Baltimore area (including Jann). 

I didn't get to talk to everyone I wanted to, though (sorry Megan, fer instance).

But such is life. Anyway, the whole experience just brought it home a little more how precious and rare this life is, and how it can go away quickly. 

I feel a need to both practice more and also spend more time with my friends and tell them I love them while there is still time. 

Bodhi Svaha. 

Lucinda's Sukavati, part 1

Ok, I now feel like saying something about Lucinda's Sukavati.   

A Sukavati is a service done by Himalayan Buddhist traditions (including the Shambhala Buddhist tradition) that is based in the older Pure Land tradition.  The Pure Land tradition seems to date back to the beginning of what became the Mahayana lineages.

The Pureland is said to be a Buddha realm created by one of the 2 earliest other Buddhas mentioned by Shakimuni (the other being Maitreya, the coming Buddha of the future, who has since had many of the "Messianic/ coming savior" traditions identified with him).

Amitabha is said to be an aspect of the Buddha that, out of his great compassion for all Sentient beings, created a place when one who merely remembered his name or aspired to go there could be reborn.

When I first heard about this, as a early 20-something nihilist, I was disappointed.  This sounded to me like the sort of folk belief-via-Christianity "happy hunting ground heaven" bullshit that I had turned against.

However, there is a big difference.  In the basic Heaven myth, people who believe in a certain deity would go and dwell there eternally in bliss while everyone else (the infidels/ non-believers) would burn as sinners.

In this case, those who aspire to be reborn there in Amitabha's pureland of Sukavati aka Dewachen are doing so because the conditions are very ripe for easy enlightenment - and then one would come back to whatever realm needed in whatever form was needed to help others get free of samsara.  Aspiring to go there does not insinuate that everyone else is inferior to you for not believing in Amitabha, and that they will suffer the wrath of a vengeful angry Buddha.

Far from it.  If one has taken the Bodhisattva vow properly, instead of feeling superior to all the sheep, one is dedicated to helping every single last one of them attain the same realization.

Anyway, the Sukavati itself consists of a bit of sitting to focus everyone's minds, an explanation of what is going to happen, a period of tonglen - taking and receiving meditation - for the consciousness of the dead person, and then some remembrances about them by friends and family. 

It ends with the burning of a picture of the deceased.  It is supposed to help the dead person by getting rid of the image of the body they have left.  It is said in the Bardo Thotal (aka Tibetan Book of the Dead) that the dead may not know they are dead, and seek to be around reminders of their just-past life.  Burning the photo is supposed to make the deceased realize "oh, I'm dead."

I have heard from at least one lama that the real reason it is done is to make the survivors quit their painful grasping to the deceased by driving it home that "this loved on is dead, time to start moving on with life."

I'll add more details about how Jann Jackson masterfully lead Lucinda's tomorrow morning, IAGW.

-LWWD/JTR.

On the Road Again...or, Blogging in the Bathroom in my Boxers

Well, we are on the road west. We went from Silver Spring to Columbus, Ohio in about 6 hours. Not bad. Daisy pretty much slept most of the way, While Melissa and I listened to 3 Beautiful South albums in a row. (For those keeping score at home, they were "Blue is the Color", "0898", and "Welcome to the Beautiful South".) Wonderfully poppy, but just as lyrically dark and twisted as Richard Thompson, with a little more dry bitter wit.

460-some miles melted away pretty quickly. I was going to post about how bloody boring and stupid Ohio is, but I realize I've got a grudge against the state that's a bit irrational due to a kinda cruel trick someone from that state played on me a decade ago. I'll go into that in a later post. Besides, DEVO came from Ohio, so it can't be ALL bad. :)

Now that we are in our Hotel (La Quinta - 60 bucks a night, pets allowed), I have had a chance to sit (shamatha-vipashina) a bit. I was looking at the picture of the late Lucinda Peach I have in my practice materials, and it got me thinking. (ok, it got me crying while I was doing tonglen for her a few minutes ago).
Khandro Rinpoche has said many times that Vajra sangha - buddhist practitioners who have been in the same stream of Vajrayana teachings, practices and empowerments - should be as close as (or even closer than) brothers and sisters.

I didn't realize it until Lucinda's death that I have come to view a group of the DC Khandro Rinpoche sangha that way. When you ride for a couple hours 2 ways many times during the year over several with people, you do get to know them pretty well (to say nothing of time on the land at Lotus Garden, study groups, etc.) I wish I had had more goofy email exchanges with Lucinda than I did.
I wish I had kept up regular contact during the weeks, and especially wish I had involved myself in helping her for what turned out to be her final months.

As sad as this is, I feel 100 times worse for my fellow DC sangha dry-wit conspirator (and co-suspect besides myself for being behind the incredibly bizzarre "Gumbi Prakesh" emails in the LG community a few years back) Jerry, who I still think really WAS her brother. And it made me think more. Besides Melissa, there are a couple of women (kpm and sls) that I view as family (ok, one is a complex case on my part) that it would feel like an amputation if they were suddenly dead. I worry about this kind of thing. Of course, My wife has her seizure disorder, which could kick in at any time.
Thankfully, I haven't had to go to hospital in the aftermath of a seizure for 5 or 6 years.

But I worry about these 2. One's a cancer survivor, which, in light of what happened to Lucinda, need I say more?
The other one has some kind of blood pressure thing that has been causing her to pass out, which has already given her a concussion once. If this were to happen when she were driving...
As I was saying emailing an old college friend who is mutual friends with sls, I have a reoccuring nightmare that she dies in an accident, but no one thinks to tell me until 6 months later. It always ends right when I throw myself on the ground at her headstone, screaming "No! no! no!"   Not a very pleasant thought.

I keep urging them to take care of themselves. I'm not sure what else I can do.

Well, now that anyone reading this feels like putting on a Smiths record :), I'm going to look up abandoned railroads around Columbus. I've been into them since i was really little. Drikung Khenchen Rinpoche said that it is very good to hang around such places - it's a great reminder of impermence and decay, which are inevitable for all of samsara.

I plan to post a bit about Lucinda's Sukavati service (such as what in the heck a Sukavati IS) later tomorrow, IAGW (If All Goes Well).

Everyone dream well.

-LWWD

Farewell, Farewell

I thought Baltimore Shambhala Center director Julie Heegaard said it best, so I am quoting her email verabtum:

"It is with a sad heart that I share with you that Lucinda Peach, a
member of both the Washington DC Shambhala Community and the Lotus
Garden community, died today. Those of you who have known her are
aware that she survived cancer a few years ago, but it came back in
full force this year, having spread throughout her body. She was a
fighter but it was obvious it would be a very difficult battle.
Yesterday she was hospitalized with a systemic infection, fell into
unconciousness and was put on a respirator. Around 3:00 pm today, her
family had the respirator removed and she died peacefully shortly
thereafter.

May Lucinda's death serve as a powerful reminder of the unpredictable
length of our precious impermanent lives and the precious impermanent
lives of all those we encounter. And may this reminder immeasurably
increase our gratitude, our kindness, and our determination to live
wisely."

This was our beautiful Lucinda. She seemed to embody the Lojong slogan
"Always have a joyful mind".

Three of us were practicing the full Vajrasattva sadhana (the crown jewel of
the practices of the Mindrolling Lineage, which we belong to through
Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche)for her last night and had an extra vajra and ghanta set out.

This was supposed to be for anybody else who was able to show up,
but it seemed by the end of the practice that it was set up as a
tribute to Lucinda (who more often than not would have -been- the
other person who showed up on short notice for such practice.)

It kind of made it seem more real that she's gone. :(

The Sukavati (Buddhist funeral) is tomorrow.
-LWWD



"Energy never dies. It just changes form."-Single Gun Theory