The Burning Names, or, One Night in Frederick Makes a Dull Man Humble...Part 1.5

Ok, after the weekend at TMC, the Drikung Kagyu dharma center in Frederick, there was one thing that was very powerful.
This was a program devoted to doing the Deity yoga of Chenrezig, the personification of the very essence of compassion (which, in a buddha-dharma context, comes directly from the wisdom of seeing that the solidity of people and the difference between people, to say the least, exaggerated.) At some point, I am going to have to give a quick overview of the Vajrayana. This is not that time. :)

While we were there, meditating on the yidam (meditational deity, which is "as real as we are - which is to say, not particularly real" - VKR :)) as a less-conceptual way to 'get' real compassion and emptiness/ fullness, we were doing the mantra part of the practice using a very ancient (at least 6-7 centuries, likely much older) melody used at Drikung-thil, which is the mother monestary founded by Lord Jitgon Sumgon, the founder of the Drikung Kagyu lineage of Vajrayana (aka Himilayan aka Tibetan) Buddhism.

I noticed that the way the melody was structured had an interesting effect on breathing, which seemed to effect mental state. I'll have to check with a lineage scholar if this may actually be a yogic 'skillful means' to orient the mind faster than regularly occurs.
Anyway, it was a wonderful practice.

But, the most powerful thing occured after practice concluded the first evening (which was just a prelude to the actual 'formal' practice session itself, which started the following day and, as of this writting is still going on in shifts 24/7 til this weekend.)

Some of us slept in the shrine room. On the porch outside, there was a butterlamp offering, which is traditionally done for the dead, dying, and those suffering. The plan was to have 108 lamps (which were actually Mexican Catholic prayer candles custom ordered w/o pictures of stylized white holy people, since nobody makes butterlamps on this continent :)) burning, each sponsored for 10 dollars. The resulting money (1080 dollars) went to a Frederick area food bank, which has been slammed for need due to the world economy going into the toilet.

There were many more than 108, due to sangha member's friends and family members among the dead, dying, and suffering (including David Flight, a long time sangha member). Once these were set, they were supposed to keep burning til the end of the Drubchen (1 week).

As I sat on a cot in the shrine room, I looked out over the candles on the porch, which was being buffeted by high winds. (TMC -is- on a mountaintop, after all :)) The candles were under a tent, which provided a little cover - but not much.
As I did, I started going over the 4 Reminders, which VKR said to do often as humanly possible.

So I did, starring at the candles flickering, each of them a human being either gone, on the way out, or possibly worse off than on the way out, some things started sinking in...

2) The reality of death and impermance
Each of those candles was a human. Many of them dead humans. Seeing well over 100 bunched together makes quite an impact, like seeing all the names on the Wall at the Vietnam Memorial. It recalls the traditional practice of burning someone's name sometime up to 49 days after someone dies, supposedly to tell a wondering conciousness that hasn't either got enlightened in the in-between state or choosen a rebirth
'this is no longer your life. leave it behind.'
I've heard from someone who knows these things that it's really for those still alive left behind, to let THEM know "your loved one is gone. We must carry on." This is part of the Sukavahti practice we do for the dead in the Shambhala community, using a photo.

Watching the candles precariously staying lit flickering in the wind, I thought more. Everybody is like that. We could blow out at any time. And even if we don't, we will burn through our lifespan. And when the fuel is gone, the flame goes out. Period. Into the darkness.

I kept going over this over and over. The image still sticks with me. I hope it does you too.

(The other 3 Reminders will follow soon, if all goes well. Back up to Frederick tomorrow.)

-JTR

Drubchen!

Sorry, it's been a while. Xmas? Relatively uneventful. Birthday? I worked until 2 AM.
But, I spent this weekend doing dharma practice in Frederick at the Drikung Kagyu temple up there,
which made things much better.

More later...

In retrospectacle...the ER Experience

Melissa is doing MUCH better. Thank you everyone.
The infection that caused this seemed to clear itself up when she was knocked out by the anti-convulsant drugs. The whole thing was pretty scary, but I'm pleasantly surprised I help together pretty well. As I was saying to someone earlier, I knew that this was a possiblity, and had thought it out in the past. As one of my teachers had said, thinking about what the worst thing that could happen is gets rid of a lot of the fear around it.

As I was walking around the Holy Cross hospital (pictured- It's where I was born, btw) ER with my red/white prayer shawl over my shoulder (it's a Drikung Kagyu thing - It just looks like a small blanket :)), I was struck by all the suffering around. My meditation instructor Ken has said many, many times that we 'mericans are really really good at hiding suffering or keeping it at arm's length - but we end up forcing it into concentrated areas like ghettos (including the Southeast section of pretty much every big city- think about it) or emergency rooms.

Most people don't want to even think about the possibility of suffering, as if it will somehow cause it to be. Well, it was occuring to me as I was standing there looking out softly singing the Garchen RInpoche Chenrezig mantra melody as Meli slept, not thinking about it didn't help anybody in there - from the guy with pnemonia who was treating himself with some of his mother's antibiotics (which is so VERY bad on so many levels - this is how one accidentally could create a 1918 virus, part 2 :( ) and found they didn't help, the three heart attack victims who were forced to be in beds surrounded by curtains in the ER, since the ENTIRE hospital was full, the babies with awful, awful coughs, the woman who was limping in with a 'working dog' (beautiful animal, btw) that had some kind of law enforcement involvement - I doubt any of them thought for a second "I could end up in the ER today. I could see one of my loved ones in that place. "

Also, the fact that four people died as I was walking around also made me think. All these things we try to hide from, just get concentrated.

I am very, very glad that I HAVE thought about these things in depth. It's what I credit with being able to jump in an react with what was required when the convulsions started rather than "what the hell? this can't be happening! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! NO! NO!"

So, that's my take away lesson. Instead of pushing these things out of your mind, allow them in and look directly. Also, connected with that, realize that every conversation you have with someone may be the last conversation you have with them ever. I've found that taking that approach (Trungpa suggested it in "Training the Mind" - he was right again :)) has led me to cut through a lot of the heming and hawing and "I can't say that" I once had.

Anyway, that's the lessons from this weekend. Now, I am really tired (and sore from being landed on several times), so off to sleep.

Dream well, everybody. And think about all this for a minute.

Friday night in the ER...

Well, it's amazing what a chance a few hours can make.
My wife Meli had her first seizure in @ 6 years earlier this evening. She then recovered and was talking to the ambulance crew, when another one struck. She went on to have a total of five seizures, but seems to be on the other side.

The cause was apparently an infection, most likely passed around her office stress due to work .
She's an HR assistant at the International Monetary Fund, which was forced (to a great extent by one member country) to cut a lot of staff in the last year, but is now having to re-staff VERY rapidly due to the global economic meltdown (caused to a great extent by the same country that ordered the staffing cuts.).
Trying to get 15 interviews scheduled in one day with people across the world while everyone is in a slight panic over the latest awful numbers with little sleep seemed to be the final tipping point.

Melissa was brought by ambulance, and I followed a little later by car. It was very nice to get several calls from folks due to my Facebook status about the seizure. Even nicer was Jane from the VKR and DCSC sanghas stopping in to visit (since she lives very close to the hospital).

My parents came down to the hospital, as did my sister (by different parents) Kimmie (long story). This was good. My mom's a retired nurse, so she could explain what all the numbers on the monitors really meant.
When Meli was getting a CAT scan (all normal - well, as normal as can be expected for anyone married to me :)), we went up to the Starbucks above the ER. Yes, there is, in fact, a Starbucks in EVERY corner of the civilized world.

The ER docs used a bit of aderol (sp?), which stopped her seizures and knocked her out. She was getting better - I helped her to the bathroom and to drink some water before she conked out again. It was suggested I go home for a little (which the animals enjoyed) to grab some sleep, and then call and come back tomorrow.

When I left, I was more concerned about some of the other people there - the doctor said that Fridays and Mondays in December are always awful. I heard someone "coded" in another room, and someone in another refered to as a John Doe. Lots of awful groaning.

There are literally no open beds at Holy Cross hospital tonight, and people who'd had heart attacks were being kept in beds in hallways. Also, the other nearby hospital, Washington Adventist, was closed to more patients due to lack of nursing staff.

If you forget that life is at base suffering, hang out at an ER sometime. And remember: all of us will most likely end up there at least once sooner or later. It's just a matter of time.

Well, time to go collapse in bed. I'll post more tomorrow (ok, later this morning :)) if all goes well.

Yogis, practice!

-JTR

Happy Winter Solistice...having fun yet?

Quick note- I've been busy. My work has gotten interesting in a good-ish way. I am being converted to full-time staff after 2 months (it was supposed to take 6 months) and moving to give tech support to the Obama Administration on the new mega-improved Whitehouse.gov. This should be pretty secure. I need to pass a security clearance, which should be easy, as long as Tibetans aren't considered to be under suspicious by DHS. And of course, I haven't done any substances this century.
Hell, I don't remember the last time I even had a complete beer! :)

Only sucky thing about this job is it slashes my chance to do the whole Chenrezig Drubchen at TMC at the end of the month.
A "Drubchen" is a period of at least a week where people in a closed retreat will be doing one vajrayana dharma practice 24 hours a day the whole time. (This is by shifts, btw. No way anyone could stay up that whole time by themselves. :))
It's said that this kind of group practice situation allows VERY rapid maturation of practice - between the interdependence of merit of retreatants (which is a little "X-filesish") and, more logical, the more senior advanced practioners can model for newer ones how to do things properly, which helps everyone.

At this point, I am gonna be lucky to do 3 days consecutively. Poo.

On the Road Again...or, Blogging in the Bathroom, Part Deux

Hola!
I am now in a hotel north of Philadelphia for the next several days. This is instead of the original plan, which was for us to pick up my mother-in-law and drive out to Iowa for Thanksgiving. (We were driving to a great extent so we could take Daisy the dog with us out there, since we wouldn't trust the airlines these days to deliver anything living in the cargo hold of a commercial aircraft without it being traumatized, accidentally released to run around an airport, or completely lost never to be seen again.)

However, my MIL messed up her back the morning we were going to leave, and went to the ER. She came back diagnosed with no permanent injuries, but not able to sit upright for several hours on-end driving (or even for the couple (?) of hours it would have taken to fly (plus several more for security, flight delays, etc.) So, we decided instead to come up her way and spend some time with her, as well as doing some stuff around the Southeastern Pennsylvania area. Anybody got any ideas of stuff to do? :)

I am thinking I will likely have some time to finish up a few blog entries in progress during this time. IAGW. TBC....

Here's some of what I saw:

What it means to 'take refuge', What's with the Prostrations???

  I've been asked by a few people to explain the whole concept of Refuge practice in the Buddha-dharma. I'll do this as a two-for-one: I'll cover the actual refuge ceremony and how it applied to my life (and changed it), and then the 'turbo-charged' version of refuge: Prostrations, the first part of what are called the "extraordinary preliminaries" or ngondro in Tibetan. This is where things start to get 'interesting' (some would say "Are you insane?") since ngondro includes at least 100,000 prostrations. I say 'at least' because there is one lineage that requires 300,000 prostrations in the course of the ngondro.  As you will find out, I ended up IN that lineage. 

Part 1: Refuge

This is when one "officially" becomes a "Buddhist." In that way, it is similar to when one gets baptized in any of the Christian traditions (though much more like adult baptism, or when one gets 'confirmed', since there is some learning and understanding that has to come first.) In pretty much all traditions of all the yanas, one takes refuge is the Buddha as a teacher, the Dharma as the teachings, and the Sangha as those who follow the first two.


Before explaining that in more depth, I suppose I should explain what the historical basis of 'taking refuge' is, since a lot of people don't -quite- get it. According to Khandro Rinpoche, back in the time of the historical Buddha Shakimuni, the people in a kingdom would literally 'take refuge' in the local king/chieftain's' palace/compound whenever outlaws or opposing tribes would roll into town. In this case, taking refuge quite literally meant trust one's life to their local ruler. (As an aside, check out Karen Armstrong's excellent biography "Buddha" for some good info on Prince Siddhartha's/Shakimuni's life and times. His path of peace is all the more remarkable if you realize just how violent and turbulent a time he lived in.)


Now, the objects of refuge in Buddha-dharma are usually known collectively as "the Three Jewels" or "the Triple Gem." (A little note: This holy trio is not in any way similar to the Christian 'Holy Trinity' - though there IS a lot of similarity (at least in the monastic/retreatant traditions) between that and what is called the 'three kayas', which I will hopefully get to in the future.)

It should be realized up front there are many different levels of understanding and commitment possible.  

In most Asian countries where the dharma has been for centuries, most of the lay people have officially 'taken refuge'. However, they are pretty much equivalent to the "Easter/Christmas Christians" who believe in the tenants (though in both cases I am pretty sure most people don't REALLY understand what they profess to believe in), show up at the temple/church on the big holy days, and pray/make offerings when they want something (to pass their drivers' test, that their uncle survives surgery, etc.)

As an aside, I'm not sure what these folks shout during sex. Most buddhists I know are formerly theistic, and still shout at "oh GOD!" at the moment of orgasm - it's a cultural thing at this point, really. :))

While I suppose there is some positive karma due to sense of direction for these folks, there is no big deal to this - they don't all of a sudden turn in to slow-talking fountains of wisdom like Kain from the 70's "Kung Fu" TV series starring David Carradine. I saw some B-movie once where someone said "all buddhists vibrate at the same frequency", and thought "Huh? Vibrators? What's the frequency, Buddha? Geez, this has NOTHING to do with the 4 Noble Truths. :)"

But, the next step up are the actual lay practitioners. These are people who have a job, wear hats, etc. and also actually get their asses down on the cushion to meditate. Most of the meditators reading this would fall in this category. This is what several people recently did with Acharya Richard John at the DC Shambhala Center. It is usually done (at least in the West) after someone has actually been practicing (usually at least Shamatha ('calm-abiding') to get some control over their mind) for a while.

By taking this step, one is saying to everyone attending (but mostly to one's self) "I am not going to float around investigating bits and pieces of various religions/philosophies, but instead commit myself to this path from this moment on until the day I die." It is about making clear to yourself that this is your path. Period.


I've been asked how this has affected me personally.  I took refuge for the first time under Khandro Rinpoche in August of 1999, at the conclusion of the mind-altering 'Gateway' program. For me, after the refuge ceremony, when VKR snapped her fingers and said "ok, you have done it", it was like a demarcation was set. To me, it was like saying " this is what I am now."
But much more than that. Admittedly, right afterwards, for a while, it just meant to me "ok, i am a buddhist now." However, after several months, I found that it had more of an effect. There was a bit of 'I am committed to this path, so my actions should show some respect to the Three Jewels.' Also, I had a thirst for more that would make my understanding increase. At the same time, some notion of ethics snuck itself in. There was a bit of "If I am committing myself to this path, I should try not to be am embarresement to it." When I went back to WAC for my five-year college reunion, I could see some of the effects.

After several periods of being a bit of a drunk (and worse) in college, when I got out for the reunion, I didn't really want to do that role again. I wanted to be able to read this one dharma book, which I wouldn't be able to do un-sober. So, after hanging out and talking to a bunch of folks I used to know, I went back to the dorm room I had for the night. Several people noticed that "why is Duder* the most sober person here?" After taking refuge, a sense of "I am a representative of the dharma" also came to the forefront.

But this is just part of the story. Honestly, the main points of refuge I didn't - quite get until later-especially after I took refuge again several months later with then-Khenpo Rinpoche in Frederick. The sense of a sense of protection from Buddha, Dharma, Sangha increased. 'Protection' in this case is pretty much protection from myself, and my own nerousis and unawareness.

When I started my ngondro in July of 2001, THEN I learned about the other element of surrender....but that will have to be part 2....:)

-JTR

*Yes, this was my nick-name in college. No, this was before "the Big Lebowski". and no, I don't really use it anymore. :)

brief update - hired!

Anyone out there - I will be doing an entry soon on what the whole buddhist concept of refuge, and trying to explain why anyone in their right mind would take it on themselves to do 100,000 prostrations (or, if you a Drikung Kagyu practitioner, 300,000) as something that is 'just' "the preliminaries"?
I plan to get to it in a few days, if all goes well.

Work has been decent so far - good environment, decent work, VERY short commute (10-15 minute bus ride!).
More on that later.

Now, to figure out my timesheet...

-JTR

Prayers to the Protectors - Part 1

I've been asked to say a few words about the Dharma protectors, one of the most unique - and most easily misunderstood - aspects of Himalayan Buddhism.  These are said to be beings that specifically guard the Vajrayana tantras and tantra practitioners, up to a point.  The dharma protectors (who are known in sanskrit as Dharmapalas, dakas, and dakinis) can be understood in many ways.  The most common protector is Mahakala.

"Mahakala: Sanskrit name meaning ‘The Great Black One’. Originally a non-Buddhist deity, sometimes seen as a form of the Hindu god Śiva, he is a wrathful tutelary deity (yi-dam) and protector of the faith (dharmapāla). In tantric Buddhism he is considered to be a manifestation of the Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara, and his worship (pūjā) and related practices are described in detail in the Mahākāla Tantra. Various iconographic forms exist of Mahākāla in Indian and Tibetan tantric Buddhism with between four and sixteen arms. A non-wrathful form exists in Japan where he is associated with good fortune and is known as Daikokuten."
source: answers.com

Some people like to focus on the outer protectors, and some the inner protectors.  Since the inner protectors are much more sensible to westerners on  a psychological level, I will start with them.

The Inner Protectors

Here is a practical explanation of the protectors, as taught by Chogyum Trungpa Rinpoche.  The example given is: Imagine you are arguing with someone, and you are totally red-faced angry, and completely unaware of yourself or your surroundings.  Basically you have no mindfulness at all.  Now, imagine you were to storm out of the room, go to slam the door shut, and catch your finger, instantly bringing you back (albeit in a not-so-pleasant way) to yourself, and allowing you to sort of reinhabit yourself. It brings your mind back to where you are. 
 
That right there is the protector...that's Mahakala...Ekajati, etc.  The protectors are the personification of wrathful wakefulness.

Now, Wrathfulness confuses a lot of people. It can be abused to disguise plan old anger, which is NOT enlightened.  There is always a danger of people claiming they are manifesting "vajra anger" in an attempt to wake somebody else up.  This is a VERY slippery slope.  The comedian/performance artist Andy Kaufman tried to work this ground, to varying results. ( At some point, I am going to have cover "Saint Andy" - He's had a pretty big influence on how I have manifested myself at different times.)  I would suggest to newer students that they go a LONG time before they attempt to act as protectors - unless they are in the Dorje Kasung ('Vajra protectors') within the Shambhala organization, which I will cover later also, IAGW. 

I like to say it's like the difference between His Holiness the Dalai Lama saying very gently to some kids playing in a house that has caught on fire, "ok children, you need to get out of the house..."...and Samuel L. Jackson in full-blown Jules Winnfield from "Pulp Fiction" mode shouting at the kids "GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF THE MOTHER FU@KING HOUSE NOW!!!!!"
Both are done for the same reason, out of love and concern for the kids, but one is much more forceful.

Protectors practices are done at dusk, as a way of rousing one's wakefulness, since after a long day, that is when one would be most likely to indulge in mindless activities in the name of 'relaxing'.  Doing these practices at dusk is to a great extent a way of saying to yourself "wake up!  Keep up your mindfulness! This precious human birth will be over in a flash, so there really is no time for mindlessness."  

 

Next time, Part 2: the Outer Protectors

Here is where things start to get into "Agent Mulder, is that you?" territory.  It's worth it's own post...so it will get that. :)  

-JTR

"I am not really a buddhist..." - some disembodied poetics

Several sangha folks have been making a big deal about this thing I wrote last month.
I figured, it must be notable enough to post on here. So, for your consideration...

"Last Monday at the monthly Shambhala Art Salon, we worked and played
with words. In one exercise, we each wrote down a secret (true or made
up), passed the secrets along, and then wrote down whatever came up with
the only stipulation that it had to incorporate the secret at least once.

Luther came up with this vivid and humorous poem I thought was too good
not to share"


I am not really a buddhist-

I’m a member of DEVO, rolling on stages

in flower pot hats, talking about potato

depraved post-Kent State apocalypse



I am not really a buddhist

I’m a water moccasin, certainly not a shoe

floating in Chesapeake bland backwater

with tongue flicking – no trace of equanimity



I am not really a buddhist

I’m a fundametalist Ishtar nightmare throwing

stones and guitar picks at the next infidel

to walk through that door



I am not really a buddhist

I’m a lost B-movie action star who never learned

how to act



I am not really a buddhist

I am a walking deception, red strings around my

neck, but no strings attached or detached

where it really counts



I am not really a buddhist

I could more likely be a used ukulele leaning

precariously against a tree, one tuning peg

never quite staying in place – the dissonance

makes more sense



I am not really a buddhist

I am a sleepwalker, sleep talker, neuromancer

or maybe just a dream, a dream to be

disregarded – or closely guarded



I am not really a buddhist

I’m a jack-off-in-a-box, the birthmark

on Gorbachev, a faker holding a damaru



I am not really a buddhist

The only thing empty I believe is my

gas tank, bank account, a brick wall

looks solid and real to me.

Hired!

Well, boys and girls, I am finally leaving the employment 'bardo'.
I start next week as a Contract-to-hire web developer. After a couple months, if everyone is happy, I convert to full staff.
Given how bad the economy is (and it is going to get worse...) I jumped at this opportunity.
Whew! I only had one week of unemployment left to spare.

So, no more late night postings on Randrol's Ramblings...like. for example, this posting...:)

-JTR

I know, I know - I owe, I owe

I still need to get some entries done before they go up.  Been busy with that job hunt thing.

In dharma news, the Milarepa Chorus is back.  After a long hiatus, the four core vajra sangha members came back together last night to sing some of the songs of Milarepa and other great Kagyu and Nyingma lamas.  These songs were introduced in the West by Khenpo Tsultrim Gyatso Rinpoche, and then translated and set to music by some of his students.  

Last night, we went through a bunch of songs, with me using my bass guitar for accompaniment.

(I didn't want to use an acoustic guitar: It would remind me of the travesty I was subjected to at Mt. St. Joes which is 'folk mass' :))

We were a little rough, but it sounded ok.  More on that later, IAGW.

-JTR

More postings coming soon

I'm working on some more posts. I promised I would do an explanation of what the 'Dharma Protectors' are, and a double-barrelled no-bullshit simple explanation of what Buddhist Tantra is. (hint: if you are the typical American, it's NOT all about your genitalia.)

IAGW, this will happen tomorrow.
Off to bed, after the debate, which I thought was a stalemate. Neither of them was the master debater. :)

-LWWD

A Sample of Khandro Rinpoche - Introduction to Milarepa Movie

I felt it would be appropriate to post on here this brief talk that Khandro Rinpoche gave - with no preparation whatsoever - when introducing in Berkeley, CA Part 1 of the movie about the most legendary saint in all of Vajrayana Buddhism, Milarepa.  Her 4-minute introduction to the movie also serves as an introduction to the Dharma as she has learned it.  I think even this short clip gives a taste of the power, humor, and confidence that Rinpoche has, which has led many people (myself included :)) to become her devoted students. 

I hope you enjoy it.

-JTR

PS - The movie itself is beautiful and moving, even for non-buddhists.  I'd highly recommend adding it to the NetFlix que. :)

Remember Four Things, Oh son or daughter of noble family...

I've been asked by a few people to talk about 'The Four Reminders", which are in the Tibetan (/Bhutanese/Nepalese/etc.) tradition the very bedrock of the Buddhist path. Everything else is built upon these. as my teacher VKR has said many times, "Any obstacles that can't be overcome, it's simply because one has not contemplated the Four Reminders enough."

For you non-buddhists, this will give you a good overview of the core of what we practice.

So, here they are.  At the top of each, I will include the traditional passage from the Karma Kagyu and the Drigung Kagyu describing each of the four.  I will also include how -I- contemplate them daily, in hopes that some of you might be able to adapt it to your own practice lives.

(I am right now doing all of these from memory - I'll go back later on to make sure all the quoted parts are correct).

__________________________________________________________

First, setting the motivation by reciting - slowly- the "Metta Sutra":

May all beings be happy! Weak or strong, without exception, small or great, seen or unseen, nearby or far away, alive or still to be born - May all beings be entirely happy! 

May nobody despise anyone anywhere, may no one wish harm to any single creature out of anger or hatred!

May we cherish all creatures as a mother would her only child! May our loving thoughts fill the entire world, above, below, and all around, without limit!

May we have a boundless goodwill to the whole world, unrestricted, without hatred or hostility!

---I've heard from many teachers that setting this motivation at the start is very, very important.  

Then, I do 21 breaths, evenly in and out, as described in the classic Jamgon Kongtrol text on LoJong (Mind Training), The Great Path of Awakening.   My ADD-adled brain needs this in order to be able to focus on the 4 Reminders.  

First:

This is a precious human birth, hard to gain and extremely easy to lose. 

Now that I have it, I must not waste it, but instead do something meaningful.

Keyma! This kind of leisure and endowment is supremely difficult to obtain!  

Having obtained this body, which is very easily lost, do not waste it meaninglessly, 

but rather use it to attain the joyous result of ultimate liberation.

---

"a good way to contemplate how fortunate we are is to consider how sentient beings suffer. Traditional Indian Buddhism used six mythical creatures to symbolize this: 

The denizens of hell, drowning in pain,
The poor, starving "preta" spirits
The oblivious animals
The clever, desirous humans
The "asura" demigods, always jealous of the gods
The blissful gods, proud before they fall."

(Source: Ken Rawie)

To go through this, think in this way:

"It is indeed a very rare and precious birth that allows me to practice the dharma to attain liberation in this way.  There are SO many other possibilities that would not allow this, such as:

    (Counting out with my fingers)

-The Hell Realms: 

hot - including Avichi, cold, and surrounding.

-The Human Hell Realms:

 watching loved ones suffer and die and being totally helpless to stop it, with one's body going - for example, by ALS, or being ravaged by cancer- and being helpless to stop the process, with one's mind going - for example, by Alzheimers' - and being utterly helpless to stop the process, 

being raped and/or otherwise violated, being led to your own execution, or being so full of hate and anger that you can't think of the repercussions of your actions and are willing to destroy yourself, for example, a suicide bomber.

-The Preta Realms:

walking around with a tiny mouth and huge belly that can never be close to food.

-The Human Preta Realms:

being without food, water, clean water, medicine surgery or other health care, with drug and alcohol addictions or sexual obsessions, without shelter, employment, companionship or sanity.

-The Animal Realms:

Think about how animals run around, with no real ability to think out their actions. Yes, our dogs and cats seem to have good lives, but what of the TRILLIONS of other animals in the outside world?  Do roaches have free will? Does a giant squid EVER have any idea beyond "eat - swim - kill - don't get killed"? Most animals have very, very hard lives. And, the predators create the karma of killing without even realizing it. 

-The Human Animal Realms:

Think of all the humans who's entire lives are spent simply foraging for food and surviving from day to day.  At LEAST 1/2 of the planet lives like this!  They have no opportunity to realize that there may a happiness beyond a crust of bread (that soon disappears, and then hunger returns...etc.)

The Ashura ("jealous god") Realms:

The classical descriptions are that they are beings that live in incredible luxury compared to every realm below, but it is still not enough.  They know that the Devas live even better, and are determined to 'get theirs now' through force.  But, like the Coyote after the Road-runner, they always get out-smarted, out-gunned, out-everything by the Devas.  Their lives are fantastic, but it's not enough. 

The Human Ashura Realms:

Think of all the men and women doing everything possible to get up the corporate ladder, or the "Hill Climbers" in the House and Senate buildings.  Their minds are so set on getting the next 'piece of cheese', they will do just about Anything to climb higher and get more.  At the same time, though, there is no appreciation for what they have now, or that this lifestyle may have flaws.  These are the kind of people who think "what's my next partner/hook-up going to be like?" in the middle of sex with their current interest, or think "in THAT boardroom they have even better coffee!" while mindlessly sipping their Starbucks (or Seattle's Best or whatever).  It is a realm of suffering.

The Deva ("god") Realms:

These are beings said to live blissfully for 1000's or even millions of our years.  This experience seems to line up with the folk-belief-via-Christianity view of Heaven. There are lots of pleasant experiences, wonderful food, great music, never aging, getting whatever they desire just be thinking about it, real streets of gold-type stuff.  However, they are said to be blissfully unaware of their real condition. After a million years here in the Elysian Fields, they are said to start wilting, and realize that they will have to leave soon.  All the other Devas start avoiding one when they start their quick decline.  There is tremendous anguish at the end when they realize they are about to die.  BUT, the other Devas quickly forget, and the thought doesn't even occur to them that "this will happen to me too."  

The Human Deva Realms:

Think of all the now "whatever happened to?" stars, who used to be on top, but then had to experience the slow horrible slide into anonymity and losing the perks of stardom, such as Joe Piscopo, Chris ODonnell, all the 80's hair metal bands, etc.

Now, compared to all the beings in the six realms, think:

I was born in a central place. A Buddha has come. He has taught. His teaching still exists. People still sponsor and practice these teachings.  There is still genuine compassion and wisdom in the hearts of the teachers. 

I have the inclination, faculties (functioning sense organs, relatively sane mind), and opportunity to study, contemplate, and practice these teachings. 

This is rarer than one star in the infinite sky, or a snow flake in an ice age. This chance will NOT come again.  Don't you DARE waste This Precious Life."

Second:

The whole world and it's inhabitants are impermanent. 

In particular, the life of beings is like a bubble. 

Death is real; it comes without warning.  This very body will soon be a corpse. 

At that time, my Dharma practice will be my only help; I must practice now with exertion.

The nature of all phenomena is impermanence;

death is a certainty for all who are born.

Death can come any time, like a drop of morning dew on a blade of grass.

Quick! NOW it is time to make effort for the essence of Dharma.

"I will die. I WILL die. There is no reason to believe this could not be the day i die. (Think about all the ways you could die today - accidentally choking, tripping and falling down the stairs, getting in a car accident, getting hit by a freak meteorite, lighting strike, or blue ice, etc.) But, there is no reason to believe this could not be the day I finally understand these teachings.  And, it is said that the moment of death is one of the best opportunities to "get it". So, It is a good day to die.

I must always remember the reality that (counting on fingers):

- I will die.

- My wife (or spouse, partner, etc.) will die. Our animals will die. Any children we have will die.

(-if you have children, you would count them off and say ""   " will die")

-My mom and dad will die. My spouses parents will die. (or, if they have already passed, count off "my "   " has already died")

- My siblings will die. (If you have a sibling that has had a severe illness, count off  ""    " has already almost died once.")

- My friends will die. (again, if any friends have died, remember that as above)

- My family will die. (ditto)

- My sangha(s) will die.  (For VKR folks, remember Lucinda died, and remember what Rinpoche said about that)

- My root guru "    " will die.

- My other root teacher "   "will die (if you have more than one).

- This very special friend will die/this special friend has died/this teacher has died (all you Trungpa Rinpoche students would fill his name in)/etc.

Everybody who has ever been born has died. (Even if the warmed-up Mithrasism that became the Christian "greatest story ever told" IS a real historical event,  Rabboni Yeshua bar Yoseph Nazarene - better known as the badly-translated 'Jesus Christ' - DID die, at least for a while)

Death is real. It comes without warning. Because of this, it makes much more sense to be ready for it than ignore the inevitability."

Third:

When death comes, I will be helpless. 

Because I create karma, I must abandon evil deads and always perform virtuous actions. 

Everyday, I will examine myself.

The fruit of one's positive karma is happiness; suffering is the fruit of negative karma. 

Karmic cause and effect is inevitable for all phenomena.

From now on, practice the Dharma by distinguishing between what should be practiced - and what should be given up.

"There are actions that always lead to suffering, and actions that always lead to a fruition of happiness.  Because of this, I must cut the Ten Unvirtuous Actions of:

- Killing - physically or mentally

- Taking what is not offered (more than just stealing)

- Sexual misconduct and obsession

- Lying, especially for one's own selfish benefit

- Speech that causes disharmony and conflict 

- Harsh speech (yelling "Motherfu2ker!" when someone cuts you off in traffic counts, even if no one else hears)

- Meaningless talk - gossip, idle talk, 'talking a lot but not saying anything'

- Craving and jealousy for what someone else has

- Wishing to harm another being

- Having wrong views on cause and effect (not believing that every action has a reaction)

I must cultivate the Ten Virtuous Actions of:

- Protecting life wherever possible (saving earthworms, etc.)

- Generosity

- Only performing sexual acts that won't cause suffering * (I know some traditional texts say here "no oral sex", but - if YOU lived in a culture that only bathed 1-2 times a year, would YOU welcome putting your mouth on a body part that hadn't been cleaned in 6 months? I don't think so! :))

- Speaking the truth - it's much easier than having to keep up lies, anyway

- Uniting speech, words the heal divisions

- Gentle speech - it's pretty much what most people expect of Buddhists, anyway! :) 

- Speaking only what is necessary, without going into idle useless conversation 

- Rejoicing at other's good fortune

- Wishing positive occurrences for others

- Having correct views of cause and effect (through study and contemplation)"

Fourth:

The homes, friends, wealth and comforts of samsara are the torments of the three sufferings, just like a feast before the executioner leads you to your death.  

I must cut desire and attachment and attain enlightenment through exertion.

In the three lower realms, and even in the three higher ones, 

there is not an Instant of Absolute happiness.

I will avoid the root cause of my samsaric existence

and practice the excellent path of peace to enlightenment.

"All this stuff of samsara is honey on a razor blade. EVERY bit of happiness in samsara also comes with suffering attached.  The people that are the greatest joys in our lives are also the source of our greatest sorrows when they leave your life, through emotional/physical distance or ultimately through death.

All the "good things" of samsara end, and then suffering begins.

Relationships end.

Orgasms end. (since that's considered by many to be the peak of existence)

The most intense sexual experiences end.

ALL experiences end.

Meals end. Books end. Vacations end. Movies end. Conversations end. 

EVERYTHING ends.  Because of this, it makes the most sense to get ready for the inevitability and, as Dr. Suess said, "Don't be sad that it's over. Be glad that is happened.""

...So, by the end of this, what have we learned? That this life you have - even with all the troubles, physical and mental defects, and problems - is about a zillion times better than pretty much EVERY other being in the universe. (The WHOLE universe - as Khenchen Rinpoche said, "even UFO aliens just want happiness and freedom from suffering too" :))  Be glad for that.

However, this amazingly precious life can be gone -like that (snap fingers).  There's a grinning reaper in your future - maybe 20 years, maybe 20 seconds, but he's there.  Grim Reaper, Yama  - the Lord of Death, however you want to anthropomorphize, it's still The End. There really is no time to lose.

In the time you have left, you commit innumerable actions with body, speech and mind.  Instead of getting freaked out or getting a Catholic-style "sin! sin! sin!" guilt trip about this, instead, use is as an opportunity to actually SEE what you really do.  This very moment, you can change your behaviors and change what happens next. It's just that easy - and that difficult.

Just in case you still figured, "Screw this! I have this wonderful life, but death may come at any time. I wanna get mine NOW!", well, sorry to be the rain parade, dude, but "getting yours" will just lead to more sorrow and unhappiness.  "Whatever you wish to keep, you'd better grab it fast" (so sang Mr. Zimmerman in 'it's all over now, baby blue")  - but anything you grab will be like sand through your fingers. You can't hold or solidify that experience. Period.  Sorry, that's the rules of the universe, your mileage may vary.  Everyone, everything you try to hold onto will change and/or go away.

From contemplating all this repeatedly, what should arise is an intense urge to sit down and practice.  It will also undo some of the "stickiness" or "big deal" quality of things of this world.

AFTER all this, then we get to fun stuff - the blissfulness of shamatha resting in emptiness, the pleasantness of yidam practice, the "what -have- I been holding onto all these years! It's silly! :)' release quality of vipashina (analytical insight).  But, without this basis, most people won't stick it out to get to those points.

So, this is the Four Reminders.  After going through these slowly, it is recommended that one do Guru Yoga (as described in a previous post).  

IAGW, this will help some of you deepen your practice.

Let me know of you have any questions.

-Jurme Thaye Randrol

You Were Warned...:) - Randrol Gets the Stupids with The Tick

Ok, ya'll, Remember I mentioned on the right sidebar about the probability of insanity appearing on this blog? Well, here is the first dose. A clip from yet another of the "Shows FOX killed before they could get up to full speed:"The Tick".

Here's the Tick delivering a totally demented-yet-strangely-poignant eulogy for his friend, the Immortal, who died in the middle of sex with female superhero American Maid:

So, here's yet another reminder of the second reminder - just mixed with a healthy dose of

"experiential knowledge of non-traditional definitions of sanity".

-JTR

Nothing Deep

This is a kind of boring post. Nothing particularly deep here. 

We spent the weekend getting rid of our old crappy oversized IKEA couch in trade for a less-crappy smaller IKEA loveseat.  Our doorway is 80''.  Our old couch was 84''.  84" into 80" = BITCH. :)

We got it out with an able assist from my dad. (When facing a mathematical improbability, call in an engineer.). 

Since then, well, I've just responded to Facebook messages, watched a couple episodes of 'The Closer' on TNT, and should be taking nap soon.  But instead, we will run out and get some supplies - anti-allergy meds, eggs, etc.

I'll post something explaining for some of our younger readers about the Dharma Protectors later. 

-JTR

How the Black Swan Came to the Lake...

I've been asked by several newer students to explain my lineage. My path is not exactly the usual "person-curious-about-meditation-comes-into-the-shambhala-center-and-follows-the-curiculum".  Ok, it's not even CLOSE to 'normal'.

If I had to describe my stream, it would be Drikung Kagyu-Mindrolling/Nyingma-Shambhala-Karma Kagyu.

You were warned it would be a mouthful! :)

To give the short version:

Soto Zen practitioner - 1995-1997 (sporadically)

Shambhala practitioner- 1997-present

Dharma Art practitioner - 1998-present  

Mindrolling lineage practitioner - 1999-present

Drikung Kagyu practitioner - 2000-present

...and Karma Kagyu mixed in with all the other lineages.

Ok, the long version:

1989-91

After reading a lot of the Beat's writings (Kerouac, Ginsburg, Burroughs, Watts - the usual suspects :)) in high school, I had an interest in Buddhism.  At that point, it was just reading and thinking "that makes sense". No sitting yet.

1993-95

Skip ahead a bit. Re-reading Kerouacs' "the Dharma Bums".  Got some interest in Zen.  Took class in college last semester on Zen Buddhism. Decent class, VERY good books, but not a part of me yet.

1996

Occasionally sitting, but not in a guided, focused way. Combined methods, which watered down effectiveness. Sat from time to time with a local Zen group at someone's house north of baltimore. OK, but not really incorprating into 'the core of my being' yet.  

At the time, was somewhat leading and writting songs for half-assed unfocused rock band.  Writing methods included at least a third of a bottle of rum. Pretty much using the Jim Morrison "I'm a songwriter, so I have a right to be a drunken asshole" idea which quite often doesn't lead anywhere good. (Exhibit A: Jim himself. ) Trying to live like 90's-critic's pick Mark Eitzel of American Music Club, but not exactly at his poetic level yet, no matter how blurry things were the next morning after a writing session.

1997

Hit long-overdue point of "This is your world. It isn't working." Had rug pulled out emotionally -   My concept of me had been been built on someone else instead, who was no longer available to fill that role. (See my earlier "my beef with Ohio" post). What's that line from the Jayhawk's song "Blue"*? "Always thought I was someone, turned out I was wrong."    Realized that not eating for three weeks and not sleeping without the benefit of rum and/or pharmaceuticals in the aftermath was not healthy.  Thought advice of 'just never talk with each other again' sucked, and was tired of dodging and chickening out of challenges, as I had always done before.  Decided to try opposite approach instead of crawling back under my stone.  Knew that dharma was most workable solution, and also realized I couldn't do that on my own, either.  Sought out more 'permanent' spiritual home.

Tried to go sit with another Zen group, found they had closed, but was refered to Baltimore Shambhala Meditation Center (BSMC) at 11 Mount Royal Avenue. Went, got meditation instruction, started sitting regularly there.  After facing down a whole #@$#-load of longing, regrets, fantasies, and rage and labeled it "thinking", found I was able to function a bit better.  

1998

Still sitting regularly at BSMC. By auspicious coincidence, ran into Dave Cip, a master of hindi-style slide guitar and member of BSMC, at a Richard Thompson concert at Artscape.  He told me about the Dharma Art program happening the next weekend at BSMC.  I was intrigued and said I would be there.  I then proceeded to get shit-faced before meeting one of my musical heroes (who, as a serious practicing Sufi, is a teetotaler). 

The next weekend, did program. it spoke to me in a way NOTHING had before. Ladies and gents, here's where I bit the hook. :)  At one point, did an object arrangement that incorporated a picture of Khandro Rinpoche.  THAT stopped my mind. A little taste of what was to come.

1999

Sitting more regularly.  Did more Dharma Art programs.  Doing one of these that fell on Vesak Day, we did an offering to a Buddha at the Maryland Institute College of Art.  At that point, I asked the co-director (who was also my MI) "Ok, I've been shadowboxing with the dharma long enough.  What do I need to do to get into the Khandro Rinpoche retreat and take refuge?"

Started studying for the Fall Retreat 'Gateway' program. (About this time, I had busted my right hand, so the band I had been in was allowed to just die off.  This was a good thing, since the Khandro RInpoche study group night was the same night as band practice had been.)

Met many people who remain good friends to the present day. Went to the Annual Retreat for five-day program. Felt like the top of my head was lobbed off, and all thought processes temporarily re-wired. This was a good thing.  I am still amazed at just how not-quite-sane I was back then, whenever I reread the transcripts of that teaching and come to my bizzare lines of questioning.

Came back, and decided to move out of parent's basement. (Strangely enough, the amount I had been spending on a practice space was enough for a security deposit in the DC area). Answered ad for a group house in Takoma Park.  Found a more senior student from Khandro Rinpoche's sangha was already living there! (what are the chances?) Also, Jimmy Pittard, a senior student of another lineage, the Drikung Kagyu, was living there.  THAT is what we call "auspicious coincidence."

Sitting regularly, spliting time evenly between Baltimore and DC Shambhala.  Spending evenings hitting bars and dance clubs with Baltimore Khandro Rinpoche friends. Those were good times.  

Woke up Thanksgiving morning passed out on friends' floor in Baltimore with no idea how I got there.  Last blackout of this lifetime.  

Spent New Years Eve with Baltimore Shambhala Sangha. Woke up next morning (after an hour's sleep) in BSMC shrine room with several other sangha members strewn around, to be there for first sitting of the year. Found out I snored. :)   Jann Jackson announced that the 17th Karmapa had just escaped from Tibet to India.

2000

One evening in February, came back in from running around Georgetown with some B-more VKR folks to find someone sleeping on the couch of the house on Tulip Avenue. I apologized for waking them, and asked for their name. In this great gravelly drawl, "Konchog Dorje." Me:"that sounds like a dharma name." Him: "Well, I-am- a monk."   

First meeting with Bikshu Konchog Dorje from Atlanta, a former attorney-turned-monastic in the Drikung Kagyu, and one of the coolest people you will ever meet.  Any preconceptions I may have had about monastics being these totally pure Ziggy Stardust-like glitering beings  were totally destroyed by Dorje. :)  In his earlier life, his week could beat your year.  He lived in our house for a while when he was undergoing an experimental treatment for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma at NIH (which was a success).  For those who know of that disease, yes, Dorje is HIV positive.  Amazingly, he has (as of this writing) been living for over 20 years with full-blown AIDS. Impossible, you say? I've noticed that people who practice dharma correctly can often manifest amazing states of health and grow old very gracefully. (Witness all the hot mamas among the senior students over 50 in the Lotus Garden sangha :)).

A couple months later, I went up to the Tibetan Meditation Center in Frederick, MD, which is the North American seat of the Drikung Kagyu.  I was introduced by Jimmy and Dorje to then-Khenpo (now Khenchen) Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche, who taught on the 12 nidanas.  I thought he was a very good teacher, quite funny, and very different from Khandro Rinpoche.  

In May, I went to my fifth college reunion.  Apparently the differences in behavior were setting in already.  Someone said "ok, what's happening here, when Duder (my old college nickname - no, I don't use it any more - and neither should you :)) is the most sober person in the room?" :)  It was great to see folks again, but I wanted to be able to read this great mind-training text i'd borrowed from one of my housemates called "The Wheel of Sharp Weapons" when I went to bed.  To keep my mental faculties sharp enough,  I had 1 1/2 beers the whole night, and a bunch of water, so I felt nothing except the wonderful taste of Guiniess and the need to go to the bathroom often. :)   

I went up to TMC Frederick again for a weekend in June, which was within a day of my meeting my now-wife, Meli.  For some reason, Khen Rinpoche's teaching this time wacked me upside the head as Khandro Rinpoche had done the previous fall.  I don't know why, but for the next several weeks I experienced everything in a much more direct way than ever before, like some kind of blinders had fallen off.  It wore off eventually, but I had some direct experience of some kind of samadhi. 

In Frederick, in addition to the Very Venerable Khenchen Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche, my teachers have since included H.E. Garchen Rinpoche, Drupon Trinlay Norbu Rinpoche, and Khenpo Tsultrim Tendzin Rinpoche. 

Khenpo Tsultrim did my wedding along with my Ani Jamyang/Kimi Monroe and a very, very interesting Lutheran pastor named Chad Kline. 

So, this is how I came to the Dharma and stayed.  I've noticed that in the first year after taking refuge, about 50% of people think "this is all too hard and too much work" and dissappear from the dharma.  Spiritual burnout from taking on too much too soon is a real possibility.

However, in that time period, I had Jimmy and, for several stretches of time, Dorje living in my house, who were right there to answer all those questions and doubts newer students have.  So, I've gotten only deeper and deeper in ever since, and I have no intention of leaving. 

So, this is where I am now.  I'll just play the game existance til the end...of the beginning...of the beginning...of the beginning...

Next time, kids, a history of all the lineages I am part of. How they have all intertwined with each other through the centuries is pretty interesting stuff.

-JTR

* This is the "one damn song that can make me break down and cry", as David Bowie once put it.   

Just Another Day On Earth

Someone did a simple time lapse video for the title cut of musical mastermind Brian Eno's "Another Day on Earth".
Nothing like a little change and impermance in the face with the right music to reach in and remind you the clock's ticking...
Khandro Rinpoche said that a lot of the musical knowledge of ancient India never got to the Himalayas, so it was lost, which is a great shame. Music done right can create a visceral 'felt' understanding like nothing else, IMO.
Eno has been doing it for well over 35 years, and with Roxy Music, Talking Heads, David Bowie, U2 (he's the 5th guy in the studio and that weird english voice on their albums since "Unforgettable Fire"), Robert Fripp and of course by himself.

The post-Retreat write-up is finished.

Back from Retreat - Final version

As promised, Here's a bit more in-depth about the 2008 Annual Retreat with Her Eminence Mindrolling Jestun Khandro Rinpoche (along with her translator sister Jetsun-la and several nuns from her Retreat center in India, Samten Tse - I like to call the whole group "Team Mindrolling" for short :)).

I got there for the end of the "Entering the Vajrayana" portion (which, to be completely honest, related to my current practice more than the following week). She was continuing her teachings from last year about the nine yanas (10, if you include the "Samsaric yana of Gods and Men", which she did).

At one point, when talking about the Four Reminders, Rinpoche dropped this little gem:

"Many of us, w/o seeing impermanence, waste our lives doing a lot of things.
It’s now 2 weeks and a day since Lucinda died. When that happened, many of you thought briefly about your own mortality. Even if you came and wept in front of wherever, I’m not convinced it will be long lasting. Teachers die, sangha members die, you get a tumor. 70% of our sangha are dealing with some issue at this moment.
Occasionally, that other 30% are reminded that this could happen to you, but there is more thought in defying impermanence than thinking about it."

Of course, she is right about this.
___________________________________________________________

This year, the main teaching for the Dzogchen section of the retreat was a practice of Chod, or "cutting through". This is a practice of literally offering the one thing we are all most attached to - our very body - to various unseen beings. It's unique for several reasons.

Of all the various tantric methods, it is the only one -to my knowledge, anyway - that was invented in the Tibetan highlands, as opposed to being brought over from India (though there were certain aspects of the practice which were transmitted from India by Padampa Senge - who, fyi, is better known to the world as 'Bodhidharma' - yes, the same Bodhidharma who brought the essence of what became Chan/Zen Buddhism to China -no wonder there are many aspects in common between some Zen styles and Mahamudra). It's also unique because it is a clear synthesis between the Shamanism of the Bonpo tradition that was already in Tibet (/Nepal/Mongolia/etc.) with the Vajrayana Buddhist tradition. From everything I have read, the actual part of going into a samadhi (meditative absorbtion, which is in this case similar to a trance) to communicate with the Spirit world is pretty common in shamanism. Also, the use of a drum to help invoke this world is also pretty standard the world over, as is the use of a sung melody. (photo-Rinpoche's students learning to use the Chod drum, which is basically a supersized dhamaru.)

However, the genius of Machig Lapdron, the inventor of Chod (more on her shortly), was to combine these old techniques with the profound view of emptiness, as well as the specifically Buddhist aspiration to cut clinging to a "self". Basically, she bridged the two traditions to create a powerful way to cut grasping to the self, which is the biggest hindrance to enlightenment.

One other big thing was that the inventor of Chod was an actual living human female. Sadly, like most of the religious traditions on this planet, Tibetan buddhism also has an anti-female slant to the whole thing that developed over time. Shakyamuni himself said that women were just as likely as vessels for enlightenment as men. (This was after many requests, however - which is understandable, since Shakyamuni Buddha still had to live among 'normal' people, and the idea that women were also capable of being religious practitioners was very radical in it's time. It could have lead some more conservative elements to turn violent on him.)

However, as time went on, things were modified. Someone added a line to the story of the first female ordained saying 'now the span of my teachings is cut in half by you becoming a nun, so it will now disappear from the world after 1500 years'. Well, 2500 years later, Buddha's teaching is booming, so it seems that line is totally moot point. But the bias was in place. Which made it that much more remarkable when female masters did occur.

Anyway, the inventor of Chod was Machig Labdron. She created this unique synthesis, taught it to her kids (yep, she got enlightened and then made a family lineage), and it then became part of the Kagyu lineage's bag of tricks, and from there spread to all the four main lineages. Her method was so powerful and effective, no one could disagree with it's brilliance. Though people tried. Scholars came and to debate against her view, meditation and conduct all the way. She NEVER lost a debate, so she seems to have had a fairly spectacular grip of the basis and fruition of her practice.

A couple year ago, Rinpoche transmitted a short Chod practice, with one melody. It was a very good thing I brought my bass guitar this year, which came in VERY handy to try to remember the SIX different melodies used in the 40+ pages of this Chod. If I can get it under my fingers, I can remember the melody.

No, I will not be doing a CD of the Chod practice, like I did of the prayers and practices of the Drikung Kagyu (which my brother has been sitting on for the past four years! I hope he will let it see the light of day and bring some benefit to the lineage). Khandro Rinpoche is not a fan of doing traditional practices with very different non-traditional instrumentation - she feels making these profound practices into background music is a sign of the degenerate age.

She's got a point: If you want some good background music, go grab yourself some Brian Eno.

She patiently went through the practice several times. This has been one I've wanted to do -- if/when my ngondro gets done -- as my main practice for years.

The only problem is, the drum is played with the right hand. Well, I got a fracture on my right wrist in 1999, a couple months before the first Khandro Rinpoche retreat I attended. That wrist has given me problems off and on for years. Holding the drum can cause some pain, which gets MUCH greater as time goes on. Hum...maybe I will do this practice with a drum machine after all. :) (Just kidding, Rinpoche...kinda :))

Anyway, once we all do this, we should all know how to properly pacify whatever unseen beings lurk in Civil War battlefields, abandoned rail yards, old graveyards, first nation/native american burial mounds, supposedly "haunted" places, and other sites right out of "the Blair Witch Project".

Rinpoche 'asked' (can you really call instructions from one's root guru "asking" ? :)) us all to work on the Chod, as well as do the Pema Garwang (Red Chenrezig - more on that in another entry), and make sure we do a short Guru Rinpoche practice (downpour of blessings) every morning, and Protectors every night.

Other Retreat Events

Also, as previously mentioned, a 17-foot buddha statue from Mindrolling monastery in India arrived in the Port of Baltimore that week. 10 or so guys from the Retreat with no serious injuries (which ruled me and my two herniated disks out) drove down and picked up the 600+ pound (ok, 'Kilogram') statue. Here's some shots of it.

Right - The statue went up (very slowly) by truck to the main shrine room, where it will stay until the new shrine down by the lake is finished. It was balanced on the back of a pickup truck precariously.

VERY precariously.

After a lot of huffing and puffing, it got safely to the main shrine room.

Rinpoche then led us all down to the lake, where the statue will be installed.

We then went walking around the lake, and then around the land, while She explained to us her vision for different parts of the land. It's a REALLY freakin' sweet vision. :)

We ended the week with a 2 day Drupcho (extended practice) of the Vajrasattva sadhana. This was partially to mark 21 days after the death of Lucinda Peach. It was also to bless the future site of the new temple.

This was what the view was from the porch of the main shrine room at EXACTLY the time people started going in to practice. Someone seems to have timed it to start right as the sun first peaked over the mountains, which was a very nice touch.

At the end of the Drupcho, Rinpoche broke us into 4 groups, and each group did the Fire Puja part of the text in the four cardinal directions at the new temple site.

I was lucky enough to be in the group with Loppon Jann Jackson leading (right). To see her in action like that was awesome. I think she totally embodied Vajrasattva. Plus, her advice to those of us there to "not get fascinated by what you see - you've all seen rice before, you've all seen Crisco before - but instead hold the view. Remember to hold the view!" was spot on perfect.

Here's Jann at the conclusion of the puja. Damn, when people talk about "holding your seat", no one locally does it quite as well as Jann, IMHO (though several people come close :)).

While there, I stayed in the new dorm building (right), which was 'finished' the first weekend I was there. (Ok, the plumbing for the toilet and shower were not finished yet, but as Rinpoche says, we should all "be flexible".)
Gordon Ryan did a great job of ensuring this thing was built right. For fellow energy geeks, the insulation between the roof and ceiling is R-60. Even on the hottest day, it stayed comfortably cool inside the building (with no AC!)

I have had this weird feeling that some kind of karmic blowback is long overdue personally, since my practice has been going so well the last several months, which led me to go sit on the porch of the main shrine room (a converted barn) at night a few nights. There was a full moon during the Retreat (which is considered an auspicious occurance), so it was easy to see where I was walking even without my headlamp.

I still have this feeling of some impending heartbreaking event coming soon, which will really, really test what I have worked on in solitary retreat. Some may say I'm pessimistic, I'd say I'm realistic...Shakyamuni didn't say "Life is Suffering" just to hear himself speak...
(ok, so I'm using this as an excuse to show off some of my David Lynch-esque mood photography. So sue me...:))

In between all the teaching and practice, there was a bit of goofiness. (This is par for the course among the Lotus Garden sangha, as i've mentioned in previous posts).

For example, here's one of Rinpoche's best students (Well, it -is- true, Judy-la :)) starring down what appears to be the Largest Chocolate Bar in the World. This was later melted down and served to everybody on french toast...yummmmmmmm.....

Someone donated a yurt to Lotus Garden, which became the site of "Ratna in the Round", the complete one-stop shop for all your dharma supply and gift needs. Julie Heeggard, in addition to her skills in running the Baltimore Shambhala Center, also turns out to be a great slick salesperson - often crossing over (quite willingly, I'd say) into parody (I'll have to dig up a photo of the "Miracle Rocks" she was selling :) in a successful attempt to get fellow students to buy stuff to support Lotus Garden.

And, every night, people were hanging out at the Ratna Kosha, Kosha Cabana...during the day, she was doing brisk business selling ice cream. (Everything is empty, yes, but those pounds I added at Retreat from empty calories sure seem real...:))

I'll leave you with this parting shot of Her Eminence Mindrolling Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche, which looks to me could be an official photo of Rinpoche (it's going on my shrine, at least), but for (or maybe, especially because of) the happy panting presence of Ziji in the background.

That's all for now.
Oh, and in the mundane world, I have a second interview next week. We'll see what happens...

-JTR/LWWD