How the Black Swan Came to the Lake...

I've been asked by several newer students to explain my lineage. My path is not exactly the usual "person-curious-about-meditation-comes-into-the-shambhala-center-and-follows-the-curiculum".  Ok, it's not even CLOSE to 'normal'.

If I had to describe my stream, it would be Drikung Kagyu-Mindrolling/Nyingma-Shambhala-Karma Kagyu.

You were warned it would be a mouthful! :)

To give the short version:

Soto Zen practitioner - 1995-1997 (sporadically)

Shambhala practitioner- 1997-present

Dharma Art practitioner - 1998-present  

Mindrolling lineage practitioner - 1999-present

Drikung Kagyu practitioner - 2000-present

...and Karma Kagyu mixed in with all the other lineages.

Ok, the long version:

1989-91

After reading a lot of the Beat's writings (Kerouac, Ginsburg, Burroughs, Watts - the usual suspects :)) in high school, I had an interest in Buddhism.  At that point, it was just reading and thinking "that makes sense". No sitting yet.

1993-95

Skip ahead a bit. Re-reading Kerouacs' "the Dharma Bums".  Got some interest in Zen.  Took class in college last semester on Zen Buddhism. Decent class, VERY good books, but not a part of me yet.

1996

Occasionally sitting, but not in a guided, focused way. Combined methods, which watered down effectiveness. Sat from time to time with a local Zen group at someone's house north of baltimore. OK, but not really incorprating into 'the core of my being' yet.  

At the time, was somewhat leading and writting songs for half-assed unfocused rock band.  Writing methods included at least a third of a bottle of rum. Pretty much using the Jim Morrison "I'm a songwriter, so I have a right to be a drunken asshole" idea which quite often doesn't lead anywhere good. (Exhibit A: Jim himself. ) Trying to live like 90's-critic's pick Mark Eitzel of American Music Club, but not exactly at his poetic level yet, no matter how blurry things were the next morning after a writing session.

1997

Hit long-overdue point of "This is your world. It isn't working." Had rug pulled out emotionally -   My concept of me had been been built on someone else instead, who was no longer available to fill that role. (See my earlier "my beef with Ohio" post). What's that line from the Jayhawk's song "Blue"*? "Always thought I was someone, turned out I was wrong."    Realized that not eating for three weeks and not sleeping without the benefit of rum and/or pharmaceuticals in the aftermath was not healthy.  Thought advice of 'just never talk with each other again' sucked, and was tired of dodging and chickening out of challenges, as I had always done before.  Decided to try opposite approach instead of crawling back under my stone.  Knew that dharma was most workable solution, and also realized I couldn't do that on my own, either.  Sought out more 'permanent' spiritual home.

Tried to go sit with another Zen group, found they had closed, but was refered to Baltimore Shambhala Meditation Center (BSMC) at 11 Mount Royal Avenue. Went, got meditation instruction, started sitting regularly there.  After facing down a whole #@$#-load of longing, regrets, fantasies, and rage and labeled it "thinking", found I was able to function a bit better.  

1998

Still sitting regularly at BSMC. By auspicious coincidence, ran into Dave Cip, a master of hindi-style slide guitar and member of BSMC, at a Richard Thompson concert at Artscape.  He told me about the Dharma Art program happening the next weekend at BSMC.  I was intrigued and said I would be there.  I then proceeded to get shit-faced before meeting one of my musical heroes (who, as a serious practicing Sufi, is a teetotaler). 

The next weekend, did program. it spoke to me in a way NOTHING had before. Ladies and gents, here's where I bit the hook. :)  At one point, did an object arrangement that incorporated a picture of Khandro Rinpoche.  THAT stopped my mind. A little taste of what was to come.

1999

Sitting more regularly.  Did more Dharma Art programs.  Doing one of these that fell on Vesak Day, we did an offering to a Buddha at the Maryland Institute College of Art.  At that point, I asked the co-director (who was also my MI) "Ok, I've been shadowboxing with the dharma long enough.  What do I need to do to get into the Khandro Rinpoche retreat and take refuge?"

Started studying for the Fall Retreat 'Gateway' program. (About this time, I had busted my right hand, so the band I had been in was allowed to just die off.  This was a good thing, since the Khandro RInpoche study group night was the same night as band practice had been.)

Met many people who remain good friends to the present day. Went to the Annual Retreat for five-day program. Felt like the top of my head was lobbed off, and all thought processes temporarily re-wired. This was a good thing.  I am still amazed at just how not-quite-sane I was back then, whenever I reread the transcripts of that teaching and come to my bizzare lines of questioning.

Came back, and decided to move out of parent's basement. (Strangely enough, the amount I had been spending on a practice space was enough for a security deposit in the DC area). Answered ad for a group house in Takoma Park.  Found a more senior student from Khandro Rinpoche's sangha was already living there! (what are the chances?) Also, Jimmy Pittard, a senior student of another lineage, the Drikung Kagyu, was living there.  THAT is what we call "auspicious coincidence."

Sitting regularly, spliting time evenly between Baltimore and DC Shambhala.  Spending evenings hitting bars and dance clubs with Baltimore Khandro Rinpoche friends. Those were good times.  

Woke up Thanksgiving morning passed out on friends' floor in Baltimore with no idea how I got there.  Last blackout of this lifetime.  

Spent New Years Eve with Baltimore Shambhala Sangha. Woke up next morning (after an hour's sleep) in BSMC shrine room with several other sangha members strewn around, to be there for first sitting of the year. Found out I snored. :)   Jann Jackson announced that the 17th Karmapa had just escaped from Tibet to India.

2000

One evening in February, came back in from running around Georgetown with some B-more VKR folks to find someone sleeping on the couch of the house on Tulip Avenue. I apologized for waking them, and asked for their name. In this great gravelly drawl, "Konchog Dorje." Me:"that sounds like a dharma name." Him: "Well, I-am- a monk."   

First meeting with Bikshu Konchog Dorje from Atlanta, a former attorney-turned-monastic in the Drikung Kagyu, and one of the coolest people you will ever meet.  Any preconceptions I may have had about monastics being these totally pure Ziggy Stardust-like glitering beings  were totally destroyed by Dorje. :)  In his earlier life, his week could beat your year.  He lived in our house for a while when he was undergoing an experimental treatment for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma at NIH (which was a success).  For those who know of that disease, yes, Dorje is HIV positive.  Amazingly, he has (as of this writing) been living for over 20 years with full-blown AIDS. Impossible, you say? I've noticed that people who practice dharma correctly can often manifest amazing states of health and grow old very gracefully. (Witness all the hot mamas among the senior students over 50 in the Lotus Garden sangha :)).

A couple months later, I went up to the Tibetan Meditation Center in Frederick, MD, which is the North American seat of the Drikung Kagyu.  I was introduced by Jimmy and Dorje to then-Khenpo (now Khenchen) Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche, who taught on the 12 nidanas.  I thought he was a very good teacher, quite funny, and very different from Khandro Rinpoche.  

In May, I went to my fifth college reunion.  Apparently the differences in behavior were setting in already.  Someone said "ok, what's happening here, when Duder (my old college nickname - no, I don't use it any more - and neither should you :)) is the most sober person in the room?" :)  It was great to see folks again, but I wanted to be able to read this great mind-training text i'd borrowed from one of my housemates called "The Wheel of Sharp Weapons" when I went to bed.  To keep my mental faculties sharp enough,  I had 1 1/2 beers the whole night, and a bunch of water, so I felt nothing except the wonderful taste of Guiniess and the need to go to the bathroom often. :)   

I went up to TMC Frederick again for a weekend in June, which was within a day of my meeting my now-wife, Meli.  For some reason, Khen Rinpoche's teaching this time wacked me upside the head as Khandro Rinpoche had done the previous fall.  I don't know why, but for the next several weeks I experienced everything in a much more direct way than ever before, like some kind of blinders had fallen off.  It wore off eventually, but I had some direct experience of some kind of samadhi. 

In Frederick, in addition to the Very Venerable Khenchen Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche, my teachers have since included H.E. Garchen Rinpoche, Drupon Trinlay Norbu Rinpoche, and Khenpo Tsultrim Tendzin Rinpoche. 

Khenpo Tsultrim did my wedding along with my Ani Jamyang/Kimi Monroe and a very, very interesting Lutheran pastor named Chad Kline. 

So, this is how I came to the Dharma and stayed.  I've noticed that in the first year after taking refuge, about 50% of people think "this is all too hard and too much work" and dissappear from the dharma.  Spiritual burnout from taking on too much too soon is a real possibility.

However, in that time period, I had Jimmy and, for several stretches of time, Dorje living in my house, who were right there to answer all those questions and doubts newer students have.  So, I've gotten only deeper and deeper in ever since, and I have no intention of leaving. 

So, this is where I am now.  I'll just play the game existance til the end...of the beginning...of the beginning...of the beginning...

Next time, kids, a history of all the lineages I am part of. How they have all intertwined with each other through the centuries is pretty interesting stuff.

-JTR

* This is the "one damn song that can make me break down and cry", as David Bowie once put it.   

Just Another Day On Earth

Someone did a simple time lapse video for the title cut of musical mastermind Brian Eno's "Another Day on Earth".
Nothing like a little change and impermance in the face with the right music to reach in and remind you the clock's ticking...
Khandro Rinpoche said that a lot of the musical knowledge of ancient India never got to the Himalayas, so it was lost, which is a great shame. Music done right can create a visceral 'felt' understanding like nothing else, IMO.
Eno has been doing it for well over 35 years, and with Roxy Music, Talking Heads, David Bowie, U2 (he's the 5th guy in the studio and that weird english voice on their albums since "Unforgettable Fire"), Robert Fripp and of course by himself.

The post-Retreat write-up is finished.

Back from Retreat - Final version

As promised, Here's a bit more in-depth about the 2008 Annual Retreat with Her Eminence Mindrolling Jestun Khandro Rinpoche (along with her translator sister Jetsun-la and several nuns from her Retreat center in India, Samten Tse - I like to call the whole group "Team Mindrolling" for short :)).

I got there for the end of the "Entering the Vajrayana" portion (which, to be completely honest, related to my current practice more than the following week). She was continuing her teachings from last year about the nine yanas (10, if you include the "Samsaric yana of Gods and Men", which she did).

At one point, when talking about the Four Reminders, Rinpoche dropped this little gem:

"Many of us, w/o seeing impermanence, waste our lives doing a lot of things.
It’s now 2 weeks and a day since Lucinda died. When that happened, many of you thought briefly about your own mortality. Even if you came and wept in front of wherever, I’m not convinced it will be long lasting. Teachers die, sangha members die, you get a tumor. 70% of our sangha are dealing with some issue at this moment.
Occasionally, that other 30% are reminded that this could happen to you, but there is more thought in defying impermanence than thinking about it."

Of course, she is right about this.
___________________________________________________________

This year, the main teaching for the Dzogchen section of the retreat was a practice of Chod, or "cutting through". This is a practice of literally offering the one thing we are all most attached to - our very body - to various unseen beings. It's unique for several reasons.

Of all the various tantric methods, it is the only one -to my knowledge, anyway - that was invented in the Tibetan highlands, as opposed to being brought over from India (though there were certain aspects of the practice which were transmitted from India by Padampa Senge - who, fyi, is better known to the world as 'Bodhidharma' - yes, the same Bodhidharma who brought the essence of what became Chan/Zen Buddhism to China -no wonder there are many aspects in common between some Zen styles and Mahamudra). It's also unique because it is a clear synthesis between the Shamanism of the Bonpo tradition that was already in Tibet (/Nepal/Mongolia/etc.) with the Vajrayana Buddhist tradition. From everything I have read, the actual part of going into a samadhi (meditative absorbtion, which is in this case similar to a trance) to communicate with the Spirit world is pretty common in shamanism. Also, the use of a drum to help invoke this world is also pretty standard the world over, as is the use of a sung melody. (photo-Rinpoche's students learning to use the Chod drum, which is basically a supersized dhamaru.)

However, the genius of Machig Lapdron, the inventor of Chod (more on her shortly), was to combine these old techniques with the profound view of emptiness, as well as the specifically Buddhist aspiration to cut clinging to a "self". Basically, she bridged the two traditions to create a powerful way to cut grasping to the self, which is the biggest hindrance to enlightenment.

One other big thing was that the inventor of Chod was an actual living human female. Sadly, like most of the religious traditions on this planet, Tibetan buddhism also has an anti-female slant to the whole thing that developed over time. Shakyamuni himself said that women were just as likely as vessels for enlightenment as men. (This was after many requests, however - which is understandable, since Shakyamuni Buddha still had to live among 'normal' people, and the idea that women were also capable of being religious practitioners was very radical in it's time. It could have lead some more conservative elements to turn violent on him.)

However, as time went on, things were modified. Someone added a line to the story of the first female ordained saying 'now the span of my teachings is cut in half by you becoming a nun, so it will now disappear from the world after 1500 years'. Well, 2500 years later, Buddha's teaching is booming, so it seems that line is totally moot point. But the bias was in place. Which made it that much more remarkable when female masters did occur.

Anyway, the inventor of Chod was Machig Labdron. She created this unique synthesis, taught it to her kids (yep, she got enlightened and then made a family lineage), and it then became part of the Kagyu lineage's bag of tricks, and from there spread to all the four main lineages. Her method was so powerful and effective, no one could disagree with it's brilliance. Though people tried. Scholars came and to debate against her view, meditation and conduct all the way. She NEVER lost a debate, so she seems to have had a fairly spectacular grip of the basis and fruition of her practice.

A couple year ago, Rinpoche transmitted a short Chod practice, with one melody. It was a very good thing I brought my bass guitar this year, which came in VERY handy to try to remember the SIX different melodies used in the 40+ pages of this Chod. If I can get it under my fingers, I can remember the melody.

No, I will not be doing a CD of the Chod practice, like I did of the prayers and practices of the Drikung Kagyu (which my brother has been sitting on for the past four years! I hope he will let it see the light of day and bring some benefit to the lineage). Khandro Rinpoche is not a fan of doing traditional practices with very different non-traditional instrumentation - she feels making these profound practices into background music is a sign of the degenerate age.

She's got a point: If you want some good background music, go grab yourself some Brian Eno.

She patiently went through the practice several times. This has been one I've wanted to do -- if/when my ngondro gets done -- as my main practice for years.

The only problem is, the drum is played with the right hand. Well, I got a fracture on my right wrist in 1999, a couple months before the first Khandro Rinpoche retreat I attended. That wrist has given me problems off and on for years. Holding the drum can cause some pain, which gets MUCH greater as time goes on. Hum...maybe I will do this practice with a drum machine after all. :) (Just kidding, Rinpoche...kinda :))

Anyway, once we all do this, we should all know how to properly pacify whatever unseen beings lurk in Civil War battlefields, abandoned rail yards, old graveyards, first nation/native american burial mounds, supposedly "haunted" places, and other sites right out of "the Blair Witch Project".

Rinpoche 'asked' (can you really call instructions from one's root guru "asking" ? :)) us all to work on the Chod, as well as do the Pema Garwang (Red Chenrezig - more on that in another entry), and make sure we do a short Guru Rinpoche practice (downpour of blessings) every morning, and Protectors every night.

Other Retreat Events

Also, as previously mentioned, a 17-foot buddha statue from Mindrolling monastery in India arrived in the Port of Baltimore that week. 10 or so guys from the Retreat with no serious injuries (which ruled me and my two herniated disks out) drove down and picked up the 600+ pound (ok, 'Kilogram') statue. Here's some shots of it.

Right - The statue went up (very slowly) by truck to the main shrine room, where it will stay until the new shrine down by the lake is finished. It was balanced on the back of a pickup truck precariously.

VERY precariously.

After a lot of huffing and puffing, it got safely to the main shrine room.

Rinpoche then led us all down to the lake, where the statue will be installed.

We then went walking around the lake, and then around the land, while She explained to us her vision for different parts of the land. It's a REALLY freakin' sweet vision. :)

We ended the week with a 2 day Drupcho (extended practice) of the Vajrasattva sadhana. This was partially to mark 21 days after the death of Lucinda Peach. It was also to bless the future site of the new temple.

This was what the view was from the porch of the main shrine room at EXACTLY the time people started going in to practice. Someone seems to have timed it to start right as the sun first peaked over the mountains, which was a very nice touch.

At the end of the Drupcho, Rinpoche broke us into 4 groups, and each group did the Fire Puja part of the text in the four cardinal directions at the new temple site.

I was lucky enough to be in the group with Loppon Jann Jackson leading (right). To see her in action like that was awesome. I think she totally embodied Vajrasattva. Plus, her advice to those of us there to "not get fascinated by what you see - you've all seen rice before, you've all seen Crisco before - but instead hold the view. Remember to hold the view!" was spot on perfect.

Here's Jann at the conclusion of the puja. Damn, when people talk about "holding your seat", no one locally does it quite as well as Jann, IMHO (though several people come close :)).

While there, I stayed in the new dorm building (right), which was 'finished' the first weekend I was there. (Ok, the plumbing for the toilet and shower were not finished yet, but as Rinpoche says, we should all "be flexible".)
Gordon Ryan did a great job of ensuring this thing was built right. For fellow energy geeks, the insulation between the roof and ceiling is R-60. Even on the hottest day, it stayed comfortably cool inside the building (with no AC!)

I have had this weird feeling that some kind of karmic blowback is long overdue personally, since my practice has been going so well the last several months, which led me to go sit on the porch of the main shrine room (a converted barn) at night a few nights. There was a full moon during the Retreat (which is considered an auspicious occurance), so it was easy to see where I was walking even without my headlamp.

I still have this feeling of some impending heartbreaking event coming soon, which will really, really test what I have worked on in solitary retreat. Some may say I'm pessimistic, I'd say I'm realistic...Shakyamuni didn't say "Life is Suffering" just to hear himself speak...
(ok, so I'm using this as an excuse to show off some of my David Lynch-esque mood photography. So sue me...:))

In between all the teaching and practice, there was a bit of goofiness. (This is par for the course among the Lotus Garden sangha, as i've mentioned in previous posts).

For example, here's one of Rinpoche's best students (Well, it -is- true, Judy-la :)) starring down what appears to be the Largest Chocolate Bar in the World. This was later melted down and served to everybody on french toast...yummmmmmmm.....

Someone donated a yurt to Lotus Garden, which became the site of "Ratna in the Round", the complete one-stop shop for all your dharma supply and gift needs. Julie Heeggard, in addition to her skills in running the Baltimore Shambhala Center, also turns out to be a great slick salesperson - often crossing over (quite willingly, I'd say) into parody (I'll have to dig up a photo of the "Miracle Rocks" she was selling :) in a successful attempt to get fellow students to buy stuff to support Lotus Garden.

And, every night, people were hanging out at the Ratna Kosha, Kosha Cabana...during the day, she was doing brisk business selling ice cream. (Everything is empty, yes, but those pounds I added at Retreat from empty calories sure seem real...:))

I'll leave you with this parting shot of Her Eminence Mindrolling Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche, which looks to me could be an official photo of Rinpoche (it's going on my shrine, at least), but for (or maybe, especially because of) the happy panting presence of Ziji in the background.

That's all for now.
Oh, and in the mundane world, I have a second interview next week. We'll see what happens...

-JTR/LWWD

Brief update from Lotus Garden

Hey - quick update. I've been at Lotus Garden since last Friday.
Khandro Rinpoche has been amazing as always.
She mostly teaching about Chod, an amazing tantric practice of cutting through ego.

I'll post more on it later, but for now, here's a link to some photos of the giant buddha statue that came a couple days ago and Rinpoche taking us on a walking tour of the land.

Peace.

-JTR/ LWWD

Off to the Land of Lotuses...

In a few short minutes, I will be in the road to Stanley, VA to study and practice with my main teacher Khandro Rinpoche at Lotus Garden retreat center.  I will pop out every couple of days to check emails (since I am still looking for work) and blog about the retreat.

I am bringing my new used bass with me, since there is serious talk of the DC Milarepa Chorus performing if there is a talent(-less? :)) show at the end of the retreat, as there has been to blow off steam on Rinpoche's birthday in the past.

In other news, Senge STILL is living in my parent's basement, emerging only at night to feed and poop.  My dad suggested that maybe he's a vampire, sleeping in his little coffin during the day and then moving around at night.  It WOULD explain some of his behaviors...

-JTR/LWWD

Photo travelogue

Ok, I thought it would be good to have something on our recent daring adventures in order in one place. So, without more ado:	I will be adding more photos to this entry in the next day or so. Please revisit it.
	This is the Courier Cafe in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois.  Meli ate there all the time when she was in college here.  After stopping there on the way out for quesadias and chocolate malt milkshake for dinner, I can understand why. :) Highly recommended.
	This is the University of Illinois Honors tablet for 1991.  The 10 th entry down is Melissa's roommate all through college.  We visited Rose and her family in Lincoln, Nebraska later in the week.
	Lightning during severe thunderstorm that hit as we were visiting Urbana, Ill. Daisy was NOT pleased.
	Daisy - still sleeping through Illinois.
	We stopped briefly in Farmer City, IL to get some shots of an abandoned railroad crossing I saw mentioned on www.abandonedrailroads.com. As I said before, I've always had a fascination with this stuff as long as I can remember.
	More of the abandoned rails. Drikung Khenchen Rinpoche said that it is very good to hang around such places - it's a great reminder of impermence and decay.
	This is the massive Black Forest Crepe we got at the Landmark Cafe in Galesburg, IL. If you are in town, I highly recommend getting one.
	257 Miles to Des Moines.
	One afternoon, we went with Jen and her family to the Hot Air Balloon festival in Indianola, Iowa. We didn't go in, because we couldn't walk around with the dog, so we instead drove to another location in the direction the wind was blowing to eat pizza and watch the balloons fly over. It turned out, we parked about 100 yards from where half the balloons landed! Here's a hot air balloon eclipsing the sun.  I've got more shots from that afternoon here.
	Meli's Uncle Steve eating tortilla chips.
	Cousin Ben wrestles with Daisy in Jen's living room.
	Jen finally gets onto Facebook!
	Daisy gets mobbed by admirers at the Des Moines Farmers market - she wasn't complaining. :)
	Emu Meat??!
	Here is the welcome sign for Omaha, Nebraska - an Union Pacific 4-8-8-4 "Big Boy", the biggest, most powerful steam locomotive ever built in the world.
	Meli's old roommate Rose with her daughter Katie.
	THIS is the front that we raced ahead of on Monday and Tuesday to get home. We were going to take i-80, but instead took a southern route through Ohio to Parkersburg, West Va. It was a good idea, since this storm system later gave birth to some tornadoes in Indiana and Illinois (including a stadium-clearing tornado warning in Chicago!)
	Here are some steeples and smokestacks outside Cinncinati, Ohio.
	We took Route 32 and then Route 50 through Southern Ohio after Cinnicani to avoid the aforementioned storms. It was actually very nice, especially compared to the flat dull land of Illiandohio. I retract my earlier criticism of the state of Ohio, which really wasn't so much about the state anyway. :)
	There were a LOT of roadside crosses along Route 50 from Parkersburg to Clarksburg, West Va. It was a bit trecherous driving in the rain during the day - I can only imagine how awful it must be at night. :(
	The highway bridge over Cheat Lake in Western maryland.
	Almost home - the sign for different kinds of rest at the Maryland Welcome Center rest stop.

"Is this thing on?"

Hey- Quick Question - Is anybody reading this thing?
Please feel free to drop me a Comment about what you think, and what you would like to see.

I will drop some photos on to here from our travels later today, along with some dirt on myself from the past.

(Fun, eh? :))

-JTR / LWWD

My Beef with Ohio

Ok, here's my problem with Ohio, It mostly about one former resident of the state who was SLS's roommate in law school. When she told me she was seeing somebody (after not dating as long as I'd known her, which I realized later was probably one of the dozens of reasons  I considered her 'safe' to get close to), I was more than a little worried.

I asked her roommate, who I'd met a few times and somewhat trusted, partially because as SLS had said, we were similar in many ways, who it was and what they were like, to make sure it wasn't some creep who would dick her over.

Her roommate, who turned out to BE her boyfriend for the next 8 years, strung me out for almost a month by saying SLS had become a lesbian. I was already emotionally conflicted enough already about my feelings for her - this little angle caused my even more pain. This was my best friend, AND I'd fallen in love with her, and didn't know THIS? What the #@$@ was wrong with me? What else about my life had I missed? Had I really noticed ANYTHING around me properly til now at all? Was I that totally unaware?

So, Ha, ha. Very #@$@# funny.

Admittedly, as an old Andy Kaufman fan, I have a tendency towards dark "So what if it hurts someone, it's funny!" activities, which I recognize are diametrically opposed to everything I am aimed to do by the Dharma.

(Melissa is always reminding me, when I say "Andy wantttssss to come out and plllllaaaaaayyyyyyy", "how does this line up with what your teachers have said?" Dammit, she's of course right. :))

If I were in his shoes, I can't say that I would not have done the same thing to me. So, I've let quite a bit of my grudge toward him go.

If I'm ever down in Florida (which may happen independent of SLS since there are several thriving Drikung Kagyu sanghas scattered throughout the state), though, it might be wise for him to stay out of my way. I'm not enlightened yet.

Ok, as Colbert would say, "Moving on, nation..."

Home, Home Again, I like to be here when I can...

Well, we hit the road at 7 am today from Parkersburg, and got home @ 1 PM. Daisy was REALLY excited to be home - and immediately treed a squirrel in the quad in front of my condo building.

Greetings from Parkersburg, West Virginia!

Hello everyone-

We had a change of plans due to the severe weather that was happening today along our original intended route through Chicago (which is right now having tornadoes as I type this).
We instead headed south from Davenport, Iowa through Southern Ohio to Parkersburg, West Virginia. We drove 600 miles today!

While it was nasty in northern Ohio, In southern Ohio, the sun was shining the whole time. It was actually very nice, especially compared to the flat dull land of Illiandohio. I retract my earlier critiicizm of the state of Ohio. :)

We are trying to decide what to do tomorrow. We may: 1)Wait out the storms here in Parkersburg, since it's a nice area (with a lot of rail-trails); or 2) drive the remaining 300 miles home.

We will look at the Weather Channel tomorrow morning at 5 AM, and then decide.

-JTR/ LWWD

Change of plans

The weather forecast seems to have become awful overnight. Our plan now is to push on I-74 as far as we can - hopefully before the severe weather hits. Wish us luck.

-JTR/LWWD

Homeward bound...

Greeting, ya'll.  Well, I woke up in Des Moines, IA, and am now in Davenport, IA (aka the Quad Cities).  We said our goodbyes, stopped in on Meli's cousin Ben and his wife Kim in Iowa City (where some flood damage is readily apparent), and are now here at the La Qunita Inn.

I ran out to get some supplies (water, Q-tips, bananas - standard travel stuff :)), and the only place open was Sprawl-Mart.  That place should have it's theme song "All lost in the supermarket" by the Clash. Too damn big for me. :))

It's time for Protectors practice, and then off to bed.  I've got some photos up on my Flickr account, and plan to have some up here tomorrow, IAGW.

Dream Well, everyone.

LWWD/ JTR

A more low-key day

Howdy folks -
Nothing major to report today. Mostly hanging with Meli's family. My cousin-in-law showed me a few Mac tricks and installed some useful apps, which helped quite a bit. This was after a discussion about bad movies like "Zardoz" and "Armies of Darkness."
(If you can recite large portions of dialogue from that last film, you are probably a geek. :) That's a good thing, in my book.)

We went out for Mexican for lunch, got Melissa's cousin Jen onto Facebook (finally! - SLS, you are next :)), had a cook-out for dinner after naptime, and then watched some old "Even Stephven" bits from the Daily Show on-line.

I did get to do my usual opening practice routine, the Mindrolling Vajrasattva sadhana for Lucinda (since Khandro Rinpoche asked us to do that practice for Luci every 7 days after her death - I still have difficulty believing she's gone), and did my usual CHenrezig, Achi, and Protectors practice. (I plan to explain what "Achi and the Protectors" are in a later post.)

I also did some emailing with one of Khenchen Konchog Gyaltshen RInpoche's senior students about taking the next step in my Buddhist path. There are some additional commitments I have been thinking long and hard for a couple years about taking on, and after my 6 week retreat earlier this year, I think the time is drawing near. This is a "stay tuned" issue...

Anyway, it's been a long-ish day, and we've got to drive to Lincoln, Nebraska to visit Melissa's old college roommate Rose and her family.

Should be pretty good.

Fading into yesterday before tomorrow comes,
-JTR / LWWD

Nothing like a good theological debate; Lucinda's Sukavati

After the hot air balloon thing, I got back to Jen and George's house. We pulled in literally right behind Jen's younger brother (& Meli's cousin) Ben and his wife Kim. I walked off to do something, and came back into the room right as George was talking about reading the Revelation of John in Greek. "Showtime!!!" :)

What followed was a nice long debate on various theological topics. It always feels good to pull on that knowledge base - the original Apocalypse of Peter that was slated to end the Bible until someone realized that it said that "the Jews" would also escape the world of the dead (Hades - NOT the Hell most people think of, which was essentially invented in Dante's Inferno) in the end, Covenant eschatology (the view that the predicted calamity Yeshua Bar Yoseph described was NOT some event far in the future, but instead happened in 70 A.D. when the Romans razed the Temple in Jerusalem (in effect literally the end of the world for the Jewish people), 
the fact that the Emperor Nero was called "the Beast" in his own time partially because of his sicko amusement of playing "a kind of game in which, covered with the skin of some wild animal, he was let loose from a cage and attacked the private parts of men and women, who were bound to stakes {and I would assume leaving them to bleed to death - LWWD}." (The Lives of the Caesars, 6.29), other reasons why it's painfully obvious the Book of Revelations is a tirade against the Roman empire, the whole "666 vs. 616" controversy (it turns out someone did a BIG flub in translation at some point along the way), Bart Ehrman, Karen Armstrong, Mithras, Simon Magus, the questionable nature of Paul/Saul of Tarsus's "conversion", etc.

2 hours of fun to me.  Like all good debate (IMHO, and that of my buddhist traditions), it ended with everyone being further educated.

Now, to finally finish up about Lucinda's Sukavati - 

Jann Jackson led it masterfully. Her explanation of what the Sukavati is about, and about what tonglen is before leading a session for Lucinda, was about was brilliant.  Personally, I idolize Jann, and hope that if I reach 60, I can be even half the pressence that she is. 

There were boxes of tissue being passed around, which were needed.  I was on Dorje Kasung duty, being one of the people who was supposed to monitor the room to gauage the comfort of the attendees.  I admit, I was having a hard time doing my role when in my direct line of sight was a photo of Lucinda (which I had found and shared with the Int'l sangha, btw - glad to be of help) that was symbolically burned at the end.  Looking and seeing it there made me well up.

On the somewhat lighter side, the 4 core members of the Milarepa chorus - myself, Larry Fallon, Susan Page, and my MI Ken Rawie- stood up to sing a concluding dedication prayer that we've been ending practices with for quite a while. It's actually quite beautiful, I think:

"All you sentient beings

I've had a good or bad connection with

as soon as you have left

this confused dimension

may you be born in the West is Sukavahti

and once you're born there

complete the bhumis and the paths."

While our performance started out rough (we started a half-octave lower than we'd ever rehearsed), by two lines in, we'd found our stride again.

It felt right to do that.  

After the Sukavati itself, there was a reception. It was great to catch up with people, especially the sizable contingent from the Baltimore area (including Jann). 

I didn't get to talk to everyone I wanted to, though (sorry Megan, fer instance).

But such is life. Anyway, the whole experience just brought it home a little more how precious and rare this life is, and how it can go away quickly. 

I feel a need to both practice more and also spend more time with my friends and tell them I love them while there is still time. 

Bodhi Svaha. 

I was walking up Illinois Avenue, when balloon man came right over me...

Here's some shots of the Hot Air Balloon festival. We didn't go in, because we couldn't walk around with the dog, so we instead drove to another location in the direction the wind was blowing to eat pizza and watch the balloons fly over. It turned out, we parked about 100 yards from where half the balloons landed! Here's the photos: